the Leash, the Lashing: Binding, Tension, Holding, Embrace, Fixation
Nag Champa = Sacred tree for Azlesa nakshatra
traditionally, Shri Ketu was born in Azlesa
False Rescue * unwilling to relinquish * holding-on * leash, lash, laissse, liaison, lease, tie, tackle, thong
Seekra balapratha bava bayahaarini suba aayilyathevi sahaayakrube
Naga * Sarpa *
Hydra * Aayilyam *
Bhujamaghabha * Bhaujamga
* Uraga * Vaba
contributions coming to Earth
from the star-civilizations
Rama and Laxmana Bound by a Serpent
from the Huntington Archives
The constellation of Hydra from Richard Dibon-SmithAzlesa Nakshatra general boundary added in red by BP Lama
Earthly astronomers reckon Hydra as the largest constellation
Azlesa = a specific region = δ, ε, η, ρ, and σ Hydrae = delta, epsilon, eta, rho and sigma Hydrae
the Ninth Nakshatra * 7th nakshatra in the old system that started from Krittika
Azlesa Nakshatra Celestial Location
wikipedia = Azlesa
| Regional Names for Azlesa Nakshatra|
Asalesha * Aslesa * Azlesa
Ahideva * Ahidaivata
bhujaMgabha * Bhujamaghabha * Bhaujamga
tapas * warmth , heat, the 5 fires to which a devotee exposes himself in the hot season: 4 fires lighted in the four quarters and the sun burning from above. Pain, suffering, religious austerity , bodily mortification, penance, severe meditation, special observance (e.g. sacred learning with Brahmans, protection of subjects with Kshatriyas, giving alms to Brahmans with Vaisyas, service with Sudras, and feeding upon herbs and roots with Rishis. Father of Manyu.
Dengchen Lhamo * Dragon-tailed goddess
|Shakti of the Azlesa Nakshatra|
commentary of David Frawley,
"The Gods and the Demons were at war .
One who makes the appropriate offering to the Serpent God, to Azlesa, drives away his hateful opponents .
Those born under Azlesa make powerful warriors with powerful weapons."
Shakti of Azlesha Nakshatra
commentary by Dennis Harness
| "9. Ashlesha: The Clinging Star |
(Cancer 16 40'to 30 00')
The symbol for this intense nakshatra is the coiled serpent at the base of the spine, reflecting the potent kundalini energy that resides here. Ashlesha means "the entwiner" and denotes the challenges of our addictions to sensory attachments.
It is a very mental asterism ruled by Mercury and located in the sign of Cancer ruled by Moon.
The main deities are the Nagas, the Serpent Kings. The shakti revealed here is the "power to inflict poisonous venom”. Ashleshans have a rakshasa temperament with a primary motivation of dharma. Great mystical talents and enlightenment can be experienced if the primordial energy of this lunar asterism is harnessed.
The Buddha had this nakshatra rising under a benefic full Moon during his blessed birth. The King Cobra protected the Buddha from the storms of life as he performed his tapas (spiritual austerities) under the bodhi tree.
Ashlesha Career Interests:
The nakshatra Ashlesha is formed by six stars in the constellation of Hydra, the Water Snake."
see nakshatra gardens at: www.vedicvanas.com/nakshatravana.html
Mesua Ferrea = Nag Champa = ironwood tree = sacred to Azlesa Nakshatra
Vocabulary for Azlesa
Azlesa = Useful for bindings, lease-leash, mooring, anchors, tethers, swaddling, wraps
Hercules and the Lernaean Hydra: c. 1876
Azlesa are sensitive and seek protection in small
spaces. They are Budha-ruled administrators,
schedulers, documenters, publishers, managers, and cinematic
Many Azlesa find their way into local government
Azlesa's genius is close management.
Azlesa people often bind and tie their friends to try to keep everyone very close. Azlesa try to lock the embrace, even with partners that Azlesa does not really like! It is their wrapping, swaddling nature to prevent the release of bonds.
Azlesa-born folk are typically "control freaks" who must maintain tight control over a small space.
Hydra nativities generally malfunction when their area of management or expertise becomes too large to micromanage. They flourish when the scale of operations is local, populated by familiar faces, and rooted in the place of settlement. However when they are given the micro-control that they need, Azlesa can reward their colleagues and employers with admirably managed environments.
Azlesa can flourish as a government administrator who controls a local village, a small commercial shipping port, or a small town transit system. They may relish working in small colleges where they can control the micro-environment of classrooms, curriculum, and hiring. Hydra may find their way into the Budha-ruled area of information systems, and establish a fiefdom in some well-boundaried area of control such as resource management.
Having a maritime affinity, Hydra may be found in shipping ports, especially dealing in the appliances of strapping, binding, and containment such as anchors, ballast, lashing, lines, ropes, ties, and freight containers. They are masters of topical areas of boundary control such as customs regulations, border policing, immigration/emigration.
The management (Budha) of international trade and travel markets call Azlesa's attention because matters of shipping and water-transport are Azlesa specialties, but the focus is always upon an immediate conversation, announcement, or message (Budha) rather than a broader or longer-term approach involving principle, theory, or doctrine (Guru).
Typically with Azlesa the micro-focus behavior means that Azlesa will succeed when a specific event, specific contract, or specific declaration must be emphatically decided. Issues of broader policy, longer-term implications, and higher principle generally lie outside the Azlesa scope of understanding.
Much depends on the placements of verbal, articulate Professor Budha and Budha's enemy the intuitive, emotionally needy Professor Chandra.
Budha-yuti-Shani may stabilize Azlesa who is otherwise prone to change opinions rather mercurially.
Hydra is a splendid nakshatra for all purposes of strapping, binding, fixing to a place, applications of sticky substance such as glue and mortar, wrapping especially temporary sealants and tight covering such as tarps, shrink-wrap and "gift-wrap", infant swaddling, use of mechanical tension (such as architectural and engineering materials tests) moorings, tetherings, high-tension wires, chains, manacles, devices of temporary restraint, leashes animal-tethers, ties and cords including umbilical cord, tying watercraft to a fixed spot, boat-anchor-chains, tethered rafts and docks, buoys and tethered signal-devices.
Binding agreements, restrictive guidelines, squeezing extractions, financial and emotional extortion, strangling, guilt, manacles and shackles, snares, belts, ropes, chains, guy-lines, seismic retrofit, tie-downs, stabilizers, and border-control are all Azlesa specialties.
Azlesa folk can be challenging parents. Seeking tight control over their children, they tend to prefer to micromanage the behaviors that are permitted in the home while binding the children close via manipulative tactics. Once the children are grown and out of local range, however, Azlesa may seem to suddenly lose interest in the parenting. If Azlesa owns a commercial business, the adult children are typically hired into the business and given special privileges as a device for keeping the adult children bound to the Azlesa native. If grandchildren come to live in Azlesa's home, the cycle of securely tight management can revive. Grandchildren, like their parents before them, may feel both profoundly manipulated and securely protected.
Sarpa-Satra scene from the Razmnama, Birla edition c. 1605
Azlesa Nakshatra Symbol:
Azlesa Nakshatra Gana * group
Azlesa Nakshatra Tibetan Tradition
Azlesa Nakshatra protective Deity * bhapa * bheza:
BPHS Azlesa Nakshatra Auspicious events
Azlesa Nakshatra Meanings
cognate Latin tenire = 'to hold ' = intense, tension, tenacious, attention, intention, contention, retension, retain, entertain, maintenance, sustenance, tenet, tenant, lieutenant, appurtenance, countenance, concatenation
Azlesa Nakshatra Body Part
Azlesa Nakshatra group
Moola = root
Azlesa belongs to the group of six nakshatra called Moola = Azwini, Azlesa, Magha, Jyestha, Mula, and Revati
Nakshatra trikona of turn-taking, coupling, manipulative Budha:
those born into these three nakshatra are particularly gifted in all varieties of communicative endeavor, to name only a few:
However in each case Professor Budha holds an unfriendly relationship to the razi-pathi, and this often results in the communicated messages being somewhat adversarial or abrasive in nature:
Hercules and Iolaus slaying the Hydra, 1545
woodcut by Hans Sebald Beham (1500-1550): from The Labours of Hercules (1542-1548)
General Description of Azlesa characteristics -- from Das / Behari
General results of being born in Azlesa Nakshatra :
Character and general events:
You have the qualifications of a leader, possibly as a politician.
You do not keep any distinction between rich or poor, good or bad.
You work well independently
You are not of a cheating nature,
You have difficulty distinguishing
You will be lucky and popular, but have difficulty controlling your temper.
You will be the recipient of anonymous donations.
3 . Education, sources of income/profession:
4. Family life:
BPL commentary: For Azlesa nativities, the condition of Budha considerably affects the outcome
[BPL note: Mr. Ponde often repeats his
particular aversion to Azlesa nativities. It is
worth noting that whether male or female, Azlesa
"the leash" produces many of the world's great writers.
necessarily eccentric Budha-ruled creatures who are
tightly focused on their information (choreography,
plots, characters) ...but this feature of their
mentality does not parlay into unkindness or
uncleanness ... only a rather grumpy intolerance for
people and things irrelevant to their task.]
Azlesa are necessarily eccentric Budha-ruled creatures who are tightly focused on their information (choreography, lyrics, sequencing, plots, characters) ...but this feature of their mentality does not parlay into unkindness or uncleanness ... only a rather grumpy intolerance for people and things irrelevant to their task.]
"... this person is careless and unclean about herself and the manner in which she dresses.
She has a secretive and rather bitter nature
If she cultivated kindness and tact,
But her attitude and appearance are not conducive to popularity."
|Females: Azlesa navamsha lagna|
BPL commentary: For Azlesa nativities, the condition of Budha considerably affects the outcome
[BPL note: Mr. Ponde often repeats his particular aversion to
Azlesa nativities. It is worth noting that whether male or female, Azlesa
"the leash" produces many of the world's great writers and lyricists. As
well, Azlesa often show mastery of Budha-type skills including verbal acuity
in public speaking, literary publishing, and business administration.
Budha-ruled creatures who are
tightly focused on their information and handcraft (choreography,
plots, characters) ... but this feature of their
mentality does not parlay into unkindness or
uncleanness ... only a tendency to manipulate people to their own
advantage, and a rather grumpy intolerance for
people and things irrelevant to their task.]
Azlesa are Budha-ruled creatures who are tightly focused on their information and handcraft (choreography, lyrics, sequencing, plots, characters) ... but this feature of their mentality does not parlay into unkindness or uncleanness ... only a tendency to manipulate people to their own advantage, and a rather grumpy intolerance for people and things irrelevant to their task.]
"Outstanding characteristic of these people
They are awkward and gauche in their manners
This attitude militates against success in life
These people should live less introspectively
They should cultivate the habit of doing things for others."
|Males: Azlesa navamsha lagna||
|Description of the Four Pada (quarters) of Azlesa |
Azlesa nakshatra pada-1 * Dhanuzya navamsha
| Das / Behari : |
"You are rich, kind and intelligent.
Shil-Ponde. (1939).Hindu Astrology Joytisha-Shastra . p 107,"for the male only":
"Usually laborers and people of the service type...
Cause of great anxiety and misery to the mother;
Azlesa nakshatra pada-2 * Makara navamsha
Das / Behari commentary:
"You will have difficulty saving large amounts of money.
Shil-Ponde. (1939).Hindu Astrology Joytisha-Shastra . p 107:"for the male only"
Azlesa nakshatra pada-3 * Kumbha navamsha
Das / Behari :
"You may experience some discord with your relatives.
Shil-Ponde. (1939).Hindu Astrology Joytisha-Shastra . p 107,"for the male only":
Azlesa nakshatra pada-4 * Meena navamsha
Das / Behari :
"There is difficulty for both the father and mother together in a short span of time.
Shil-Ponde. (1939).Hindu Astrology Joytisha-Shastra . p 107, "for the male only":
same as Azlesa nakshatra pada-3
BPHS, Ch. 94: 11-13
"A boy or girl born in the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th quarter of Azlesa Nakshatra destroys his/her mother-in-law, and
Therefore, suitable measures, as may be possible within one's means, should be taken at the time of the marriage of such boys and girls.
There will be no evil effect if the husband has no elder brothers."
BPL comments on Azlesa Nakshatra
Budha = mandus = hand; e.g. command, mandate, manual, manage, manipulate
Azlesa females are often misunderstood due to their natural shyness, which can be perceived as haughtiness. They are however very empathetic. Azlesa may use self-defensive words as a shield against emotional vulnerability. They especially fear deprivation and disappointment.
Wordsmiths, messengers, and evangelists due to Budha-ruled nakshatra, they work best in command programming, literary and communicative settings. Azlesa has produced some of the world's most influential and admired female literary writers.
Due to their ongoing challenge to contain the personality conflict between empathetic, needy Chandra lagnesha versus logical, chatty nakshatrapathi Budha, the task of managing social relationships at work can consume too much energy.
Azlesa folk are generally more productive when allowed to work alone, few of distractions to their carefully controlled information sequencing behavior. One may not care to invest too much life-force energy into trivialities unless the career demands it.
Presuming that Professor Budha is reasonably well disposed, Azlesa is a splendid placement for crafters of song lyrics, "hooks "and jingles, or any type of communicative device which serves to capture and hold the attention of the audience.
Azlesa = penetrating, invasive qualities driven by profound need for binding embrace and control.
Regardless of one's factual material situation, Azlesa = feels financially, emotionally, and spiritually impoverished . A narrative of poverty and unfulfilled need may inform their thoughts, writings, and public discourse. Azlesa are exceptionally sensitive to the fear of kidnapping or being bound against one's will.
Even when the native has obtained abundant financial well-being , Azlesa feels sympathy for the extremely poor and deprived, since the Azlesa ego-membrane remains painfully defined by the perception of unmet need. Often this narrative involves a lost parent, particularly a lost mother.
If a parent * especially mother * is indeed 'lost' via separation such as passage to the Other Side, Azlesa may hyper-bond with a sibling (Budha). The hyperbond can be very intense if Chandra joins Budha (siblings) or Mangala (brothers) or Zukra (sisters).
Rhythmic, emotionally forceful, sloganizing speech characterized by emotional "hooks "
naturally affinity for activities which involve economic, political, educational, emotional, psychological or physical bondage,
|Q: when I searched for Aslesha, most of the articles mentioned overwhelmingly negative things about it. If I am cursed, this life is cursed, there is seemingly nothing I can do about this misery.
Please tell me about this evil nakshatra. If I cannot help myself then at least I can avoid harming others.
| IMO the idea of a curse is superstitious;
the idea of a lifetime curse grants ultimate power to some entity (fate) which stands (stitia) above (super) the self. I have no patience with superstition and as an educated person I hope that you also eschew this disempowering delusion.
In reality, there is no power outside of oneself.
Azlesa is a karmically inherited set of subconscious emotional expectations and partly conscious behaviors. Due to the profundity of its unmet need for holding, soothing embrace (which is a carry-over from previous lives) Azlesa begins life in a state of extreme childhood neediness and develops manipulative skills to attempt to get the physical-emotional needs met.
Unfortunately in the process, Azlesa the Naga may become self-obsessed,"pining for entwining" so that a major portion of the life force may be directed into the behaviors of manipulation, cajoling, and surreptitious quest for embrace.
of course Azlesa at birth indicates a fixed starting point for the incarnation. However as the native develops a more conscious awareness of the nature of the unmet need and of one's own characteristic but often unsuccessful style of trying to fulfill the need. consciousness gains power and authentic changes in both understanding and behavior may easily be accomplished.
Once the Azlesa"leash" syndrome is brought into sharp and realistic focus, healthy ways of engaging in therapeutic touch can be developed such as healing massage, or working with needy children, or other non-predatory touch modalities.
Every nakshatra indicates the emotional starting point f or the incarnation. Permission to move past the starting point into greater emotional health is granted by no outside power. Permission to heal is granted by the self, to the self.
The karmic "curse" is largely resolved at the moment of granting to oneself Permission to Heal.
You were born in Azlesa, for a specific and intended spiritual reason, according to the agenda set by your spirit. That is true, you chose Azlesa as a defining start point.
Now the question is whether you are willing to grant yourself permission to heal.
In truth, you are not cursed at all.
However freedom requires a conscious decision to move forward. The decision is yours. No one else, no external object, controls the power to seek conscious healing. Only you.
The people who talk about curses are themselves victims of the 'spell' of ignorance. All features of the Jyotisha nativity are starting points only.
of course, most people are sleep-walking through their incarnations, caught in a dream-state of vague and shifting desires. These people remain lashed to their starting points. For them, there has been no change since the moment they emerged from their mothers birth canal and drew their first burning breath of Earth's atmospheric gas. That is why Jyotisha nativities are so easy to read!
If you are ready to step out of the dream into a realistic view of Self, the healing change can begin.
Azlesa Nakshatra Naga Behaviors
Azlesa is not a Rahu-ruled Nakshatra, but Azlesa = ruled by Naga kings (sarpa).
Azlesa Nakshatra Parents
Azlesa are born to inattentive, distracted parents (Karkata) who do not overly value the child.
In childhood, the Azlesa was effectively discarded by parents.
In adulthood, Azlesa may be engaged in reclaiming value from discarded articles. The native generally feels bound to return to the same failed situation, again and again, in the hope of justifying oneself and regaining imagined lost benefits.
|Q: this Azlesa condition seems hopelessly evil. Every commentator says it is bad. How can one live a good life when born in Aslesha? Why would I choose this type of birth?|| A: When applied to human relationships, the behavior of binding, leashing, lashing, strapping, holding, fixing is often judged as anxious and psychologically predatory. However, every human behavior has positive and negative applications. |
Azlesa can be a manipulative controller surreptitiously (Rahu) seeking to squeeze loyalty or affection from an unwilling Other, to the point of strangling.
Alternatively, Azlesa provide nourishment, protection and safely fixed shelter to those desperately seeking respite from a frightening unpredictable insecure world.
In a terrible storm, Azlesa can be the anchorline which holds the boat securely in place. Once the storm has passed, Azlesa needs to unlash the holdings and lift the anchorline so that the boat can sail forward into better weather.
Azlesa flourishes in protective, holding, grounding, binding roles such as parenting, elementary schoolteaching, and nursing. However Azlesa are often challenged to release their adult children into lives of self-determination. Unconscious Azlesa parents may be persistently, even deviously, controlling of their adult children, slithering into every nook and cranny of their children's adult lives and over-manipulating all family decisions.
Azlesa are also gifted in psychology, often as addictions specialists. They are past masters of guilt and can use every trick in the book to keep an addict bound to their promise to stay clean.
It is really a genius of Azlesa to hold people, whether physically or emotionally, to a fixed place or fixed idea such as a promise, contract, or vow.
Azlesa flourishes in roles such as probation officer, 12-step sponsor, pastoral counselor, and those responsible to help others keep their vows such as abbots of monasteries.
Azlesa binds and anchors in times of turbulence. They are generally a source of stability and security to those who seek Azlesa's help in getting settled, getting established, getting planted, grounded, rooted, dug in, set in place. Azlesa brings people back to a fixed place.
Azlesa can capture runaways and recover lost objects. Azlesa can recover monies owed from evasive debtors. They can bind and reinforce broken families; heal personalities damaged by trauma and abuse.
Azlesa engineers can design binding and strapping systems to protect buildings in high winds and earthquakes. As scientists, Azlesa are careful to manipulate the test group separately from the control group.
They are genius massage healers who manipulate the long sinews of the binding muscles. Azlesa's tentacles have a broad reach like the "long arm of the law" which can find people who think they are successfully hiding - but no one can hide from Azlesa for very long, if Azlesa really wants to find them! Therefore anyone who needs to bind, capture or trap an elusive prey should hire an Azlesa who are the best in the world for holding down, lashing, strapping, and restraint.
Like each of the 27 nakshatra, Azlesa has a characteristic set of behaviors. When directed toward service to others, the holding, binding, securing, stabilizing talents can be skillfully applied to produce beneficial results.
When overly self-focused, Azlesa can develop a convoluted pattern of increasingly obsessive unmet need for attention and embrace.
When conscious, Azlesa are protective parents, steady and reliable schoolteachers, reputable and responsible builders, productive farmers with an intuitive knowledge of plant-roots, and patriotic citizens bound to the land they love.
As always, consciousness makes the difference and a conscious Azlesa can be a great healer indeed.
Compulsively Manipulative, needs to"squeeze" information, Attention, affection, Agreement, or other value from a person or object.
Cheapness and compulsive re-use of personal items.
Pretending to be subsistence-poor and crippled by debt .
Azlesa-sarpa = secreting away piles of money, all the while"squeezing" money and favors from sympathetic others by pretending to be terribly poor.
Ironically, Azlesa capable of supervising greed and waste of corporations and governments on a massive scale. Azlesa compulsiveness = strictly in the personal sphere.
Pretending to be Poor
Embezzling, False Billing, and Stealing
Azlesa may overtly or covertly steal resources from others in the compulsive belief that there is "no other viable way" for one to obtain these life sustaining essentials.
Control Fixation on small, personal objects
Azlesa = famous for writing (quite long) letters on scraps of multiple old envelopes and in the margins of already-used correspondence. But this is not just a modern recycling ethic! Azlesa the Leash may feature an obsessive need to hold-back, constrain, restrain, strain, extract, extrude, to squeeze more usage out of a resource or an object.
Compulsive bargain-shopping for household items. A case of Surya in Azlesha:
Addiction = a behavior which damages or interrupts one's ability to perform one's normal tasks. Azlesa may exhibit an addiction or OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) fixation re: the normally productive habit of reclaiming value from discarded articles.
The Azlesa native can make oneself quite sick from toxicity or infection, due to compulsive reuse of intimate personal items without being able to relinquish the item for long enough to wash or replace the item. Hygiene may be less important than control.
Azlesa Happy Habits
Azlesa feel comforted and delighted with activities that squeeze more value from small amounts of material.
Azlesa ladies may enjoy "quilting" which is an artisanal sewing art that re-uses scraps of old household cloth from discarded garments, old linen, worn curtains et-cetera.
The clever crafter re-assembles these scraps into a sewn coverlet for the bed or into a coat or other covering. Quilting is now a hobby in the USA; but not so long ago it was an essential skill of scarce-resources housekeeping. Quilting involves intensive handwork (Budha-ruled Azlesa) and a quilting "bee" is a highly conversational event (Budha).
Similarly Azlesa folk may be expert "scrappers" such as the rag-and-bone masters of past centuries
Azlesa "the leash" compulsion vs. "socially responsible practice"
In our era of shrinking natural resources and astronomically expanding global population, the ethic of "reduce, reuse, recycle" is commendably promoted throughout the modern world.
Choosing to "squeeze" more utility from a resource or an object, before disposing of it, or "going without" an environmentally expensive luxury such as air-conditioning, is a noble social practice in many cases.
What makes Azlesa's behavior different from modern and traditional conservation practices is (1) the compulsive quality and (2) cheap, tight control on personal items (drinking cups, razor blades) while happily allowing the greater world to "run amok".
Azlesa rarely has a rational, altruistic global conservation motive. Its concerns are strictly personal. Also, Azlesa is unable to stop hoarding, stealing, scrimping, saving, and obsessively re-using -- even in the face of abundant natural resources or personal wealth.
Socially responsible practices like"reduce, re-use, recycle"are rational programs of social behavior change that are sensible responses to limitations in global environmental resources.
Reusing one's razor blades until the face bleeds with shaving, or drinking from an unwashed teacup after red mold has grown around the rim, or compulsively over-billing for professional services when the legitimate billing would still create a very substantial profit, are not rational responses to environmental stress.
Rather, Azlesa are compulsive behaviors, connected with Azlesa's deep trauma of not being able to get the attention of the distracted parent, without slithering into their lap and squeezing to get approval or affection.
Graha in Azlesa = 'Space Invaders'
Graha in Azlesa can manifest trauma-driven behavior that is "in-ap-propr-iate" = "not in its own space".
The karaka role of the graha will determine the object of invasive attention .
Despite social-behavior challenges, Azlesa births can be equally as successful as any other nativity in achieving material goals. Depends on L-11, atmakaraka, Karakamsha, arudha lagna, lagnesha, etc. Azlesa connotes a skillfully coercive and manipulative personal style, which may be socially admired in contexts where coercion and manipulation are needed.
|Q:I should be getting more out of this relationship than I am getting. He needs to pay more attention to me, and I need to be treated better.
I'm going to hold his feet to the fire so that I can get his attention. I know it sounds like blackmail, and maybe it is... but he needs to know that if he spends every single night working until the security guard throws him out, I'm going to complain to his boss.
He's avoiding me... I deserve better. He married me.
He needs to respect that vow - and if he can't or doesn't want to, if he loves his job more than he loves me - I'll get my due in court.
should statements are
guilt statements expressing that one feels "owed" some unpaid debt of allegiance or affection.
Extraction of a fee or extortion is a specialty of Azlesa! |
Hold his feet to the fire? Azlesa is known for 'involuntary holding' and passive-aggressive acts of affection.
If you really want the marriage to work, find out what is driving hubby's workaholism. It's possible that he perceives you as impossibly needy and grasping, and has retreated into the pathological resistance of workaholism in order to avoid dealing with your insatiable emotional hunger for attention that he can't conceivably satisfy.
of course his resistance response makes your marital dissatisfaction so much worse ... but manipulating him with threats of professional embarrassment is highly unlikely to bring you that "respect for the vow" bind him closer to you. It's likely to frighten him, then alienate him from an untrustworthy partner.
So, caution on that Azlesa instinct to tighten the noose. Counseling might be a better approach than blackmail.
file update: 21-Oct-2017
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