|tadyatha om gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
"When someone whom I have helped
Or in whom I have placed great hopes
Mistreats me in extremely hurtful ways
May I regard him still as my precious teacher."
Shantideva, verse 6,
Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life
Kala-Bhairava (Kaal Bhairab, Kala Bhairav) a wrathful deity and dharma protector Newar Tangka, Patan Museum, Kathmandu
Newar Tangka, Patan Museum, Kathmandu
If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven;
if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.
~~ Gospel of John 20:23 [New International Version]
14th Dalai Lama 1935- Policy of Kindness Tenzin Gyatso,
Lighting the Way . Geshe Thupten Jinpa (Trans.)
"According to worldly norms of human behavior, when we help someone and place great trust in them and they mistreat us in return, it is seen as reasonable to be angry with them because we have been hurt.
However, practitioners of bodhicitta must not give in to this type of conventional thinking.
Instead, we should learn to view such people in a special way, as objects for our practice of forbearance and loving kindness.
We must in fact recognize these people as our spiritual teachers."
Arch-Angel (high messenger) Maha-El (Michael)
Healing Intuition Speaks
The people who hurt one the worst in this life are the fiercest teachers .
Despite causing unbearable emotional pain , they are indeed offering a service .
However, it takes discriminating consciousness to distinguish the potential wisdom teachings against the background of natural reactive anger in response to pain.
The greatest teachings are often embedded in experiences of extreme disrespect and dehumanization, tragic disappointment , and selfish cruelty .
How is that possible?
Aren't sacred teachings about peace, love, and forgiveness?
Yes, they are.
And the greatest of these teachings is forgiveness.
The fiercest teachers wake up the worst karma.
There is only one cure for karma , and that is forgiveness .
The crimes of these fierce teachers are so devastating and so massive that the amount of forgiveness practice required takes nearly all day.
Everything is affected by the terrible grief and guilt these fierce teachers wake up from the store-house of sleeping expectations. (Could I have done things differently? Is this terrible loss really my own fault? What kind of God can be so cruel? How can I force them to pay for their crime?)
The mind becomes Obsessed , the emotions tortured , the body wracked by pain .
This is a teaching?
It is only a teaching if there is sufficient consciousness to apprehend he embedded secret teaching.
Otherwise the suffering can only be interpreted as a horrible curse of fate followed by a violent, self-destructive reaction.
Forgiveness is not vindication or approval of the crime, nor is it victimization.
If the conscious mindfulness is Adequate to the Task , it is possible to see ones' own life projected on a blank screen. I am the hero, doing worthy battle with the projections of my own subconscious. Projections made manifest through the karmic actions of another person. At this advanced level of perception, then yes, this is a teaching.
very great teaching. A very great teacher.
teacher whose cruel and violent selfishness forces the mind's attention back to one's acutely painful misery, nearly every minute of the day. If the consciousness is adequate, one may comprehend that the seeds of this cruelty were planted in one's own subconscious by one's own actions, either in the current life or perhaps in a parallel life .
The cruelty is familiar .
One has indeed done this precise behavior to others, in some previous setting. From former harmful actions, one had moved on toward personal goals without apology, thinking that personal survival and success were more important than the needs and feelings of others.
Yet, the subconscious registers the memory of pain in the face of those one has hurt through violence of criticism, anger, and hate .
Undertaking to forgive this fiercely mirroring teacher is, for the conscious mind, a deep and sincere attempt to forgive oneself . This person couldn't have been attracted into my life, and I couldn't have responded to them, if we did not match each other's subconscious expectations.
If I am carrying the seeds of this pain within me, so that they have sprouted at this time , then may I have the courage to expunge those seeds and be free of future blooming karmas.
This awful fierce teacher is showing me where the seeds are .
This is a very great and extremely painful cleansing and renewal .
This is a teaching which violently turns the cycle of birth and death, like a huge earthquake or forest fire.
Further, having expunged the seeds through forgiveness, may I plant new seeds of awareness, confirming my commitment to the love and validation that I really do want.
Forgiveness confirms my basic goodness , while releasing my attachment to old reactive behaviors like anger and negative attachments like exploitation and greed.
~~ 14th Dalai Lama 1935- Policy of Kindness Tenzin Gyatso
Compassion is the desire for another to have freedom from suffering. Love is the desire for another to have happiness.
Examples from the Forgiveness mantra in Louise Hay's classic You Can Heal Your Life .
"I forgive you, John, for not telling me that you intended to leave me and return to Lolita until after you had already done so. When we had re-united, I forgive you for not telling me that you had started 'dating' other women until you had already done so.
I forgive you for being selfishly immature and lacking the empathy to know how deeply your actions hurt others. I forgive you for not having basic adult respect for your partners' feelings and the communication skills to express your own feelings in intimate partnership.
I forgive you for acting on self-defensive impulse instead of knowledge of true feelings. I forgive you for not having the emotional maturity and calm adult discussion skills that I wanted you to have. I release you, and I am free."
"I forgive you, Dad, for paying me almost no attention except to punish, criticize and belittle. I forgive you for never finding out who I was, what I liked, what I thought. I forgive you for always being busy and not caring. I forgive you for not being the supportive, loving, interested, and attentive father I wanted you to be. I release you, and I am free."
So there, we have produced two positive results:
A path is cleared for a partner who is electro-magnetic emotionally mature and uses calm adult discussion skills.
Blaming = slavery.
Blaming causes perpetual instant re-play. Forgiveness is about permanent release.
I am forgiving the person for not being what I wanted them to be. I am saying, oh, you did not match my conscious picture, what I really wanted. What a tragic disappointment.
Yet, you are a major player in my life and you caused me horrible suffering. OK, if you got to be a major player then you did match a picture ... but it was a subconscious picture.
Subconscious expectations get suppressed, hidden, because they are the frightening reminders that one has caused pain to others in past actions. When the time comes, one will have a precious opportunity to see the subconscious picture, to see The map of where the seeds are hidden. Where the seeds were hidden is where the evil plant , the cruel relationship , has grown.
The fierce teacher is the big revealer .
If the person does not have the consciousness to see the gift revealed through the cruelty, then one flails around in a rage of angry grief, trapped in the slavery of blaming and the quest for eye for an eye retribution.
If one has prayed for resolution and peace of mind in the midst of vicious cruelty, grievous loss, and tragic disappointment, then the opportunity to forgive the Fierce Teacher is the Answer to that prayer.
file update: 27-Jun-2020
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|"And now my friends, |
all that is true, all that is noble,
all that is just and pure,
all that is loveable and gracious,
whatever is excellent and admirable -
fill all your thoughts with these things."
~~ Epistle to the Philippians 4:8