Partner seen via:
Contractual Partnership, Union, Avowal, Affiance, Promise, Trust,
Troth, Relationship, Balance Marriage and Remarriage
Marriage and Remarriage
"Un amor, una aventura, compañía para un viaje."
Van Eyck = Arnolfini Portrait, circa 1434
~~Way to Wealth 1706-1790 Benjamin Franklin
“The good or ill hap of a good or ill life,
is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife.”
|King Lear Act V Scene III|| "Come, let's away to prison: |
We two alone will sing like birds i' the cage:
When thou dost ask me blessing, I'll kneel down,
And ask of thee forgiveness: so we'll live,
And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh
At gilded butterflies."
|Qur'an 30:21||"One of His signs is that He created for you spouses like your selves so that you may live with them in affection and mercy - there are signs in this for people who reflect ."|
|Book of Proverbs31:10 (ESV)|| "An excellent wife who can find? |
She is far more precious than jewels."
|~~ A New Earth 1948- spiritual explainer Eckhart Tolle|| “Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. |
As you may continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.
But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world.”
~~ Dr. Joyce Brothers
Love starts when manipulation stops.
"Compassion is the desire for another to have freedom from suffering.
"It would be a wondrous thing for each of you to examine the belief structures that you hold.
Look at your life and see where it is that you are holding on to beliefs that reinforce the pain.
Pain is completely unnecessary. Pain is judgment.
Within your structure of beliefs, you think you understand judgment, but we will tell you this.
Everything outside of you is a mirror to show you who you think you are."
- Theory of Relativity 1879-1955 Albert Einstein
"Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."
|~~ Gautama Buddha , Dhammapada verse-61||“If a person seeking a companion cannot find one who is better than or equal to him, let him resolutely go on alone; there can be no companionship with a fool.”|
Vocabulary for "Love"
junction, adjust, justifiable, conjugal, justice, adjudicate, conjunct, juncture, disjunction, injunction, adjunct, judicious, yoke, yoga, well-adjusted
Old English = lufu = love, affection, friendliness
from Proto-Germanic =*lubo
from Proto-Indo-European = *leubh - = to care, desire, love
for Marriage = Public Figures
First life-partnership = indicated by:
TOPICS OF MARRIAGE
Yoked Work =
Primary Karakas and Timing Agents
Emotional Expectations and Compatibility:
Eight types of Marriage
Less highly honorable yet traditionally recognized types of marriage:
Comments on Guna and other Marriage Compatibility Assessments
21 degree of Mithunaya - Dhanuzya generally briefer length of marriage
Importance of Marriage for the Self-definition
marriage relationships are self-defining in every department of life.
|Marriage Indicators = multiples|| In addition to the 7th navamsha, for spousal-partner profile it is necessary to verify the 7th from Chandra, yuvati bhava in radix, and the all-important karaka. Shukra = female partners while Guru =male partners. (Specifically Guru = a woman's first husband while Shani = her second husband). |
Also when one is in second marriage and subsequent, the karaka may change and the determining navamsha lagna will also advance. (the relative lagna profiling a 2nd-marriage partner = 2nd navamsha; 3rd avowed partner = 9th navamsha; etc.)
However the overall pattern of marriage-partnering behavior is largely set via the subconscious expectations which are embedded into the swamsha at birth.
| I am 31 and not yet married. I've been very busy with education, earning the MD-PhD after seven years at this medical school, the final four in a renowned research lab. My parents were themselves married at 18 (mom) and 27 (dad) so they can just barely understand my reality. |
They are really starting to push now, as if my choice to get educated rather than make an early marriage was a bad thing - and now we have to quickly compensate for having lost those sweet, fertile best years of marriage. They are acting as if I am a dried old prune who will be difficult to sell on the marriage market.
Am I a victim of Shani? Did I lose the best years?
Being 31 and not yet married is a very common situation amongst the international educated classes, and it's a good thing too. As a rule it is far better to wait for marriage until the end of the Shani Return that finishes up toward the end of the 31st year.
You are in a good position to make a mature choice of mate now, unlike many who are forced to marry by parents of an earlier generational viewpoint on marriage as a primarily economic necessity.
Many who marry these days prematurely, before the end of the Shani return, find themselves then having satisfied the rigid old economic marriage rules. However, as the economic participation systems have changed and now in the modern world either one of the two educated partners can provide for themselves. Therefore a psychologically unsuited marriage in the modern age has no glue of economic survival to hold it together, and it unravels quickly.
Statistically in the modern economies, the vast majority of marriages avowed before the age of 22 are shown to fail, and more than half of marriages avowed before age 30 also fail. However, for avowals after age 30, the marriage statistics become much more biased toward longevity of the union. That is because people who marry in their 30's and 40's know themselves, they have substantial work experience, they can manage their time, they understand what it takes to build a relationship, and ideally they have got some wild times already enjoyed before committing to the sober work of mortgage-paying and parenting.
The marriages of previous generations were driven by economic necessity and a blind urge to reproduce agricultural laborers and workers for family businesses. I say blind because while economic conditions changed radically during the 20th century, marriage customs did not. In the Anglosphere we started to see radical changes such as birth control and social acceptance of divorce in the 1960's then acceptance of long cohabitations then finally acceptance of unwed parenthood and homosexual relationships. All of these changes can be seen as economic adjustments to create better workers. However as we know the Anglosphere-centric changes to marriage customs have not been embraced by the third world, where old power-arrangements die slowly.
So you are a modern educated woman looking toward a professional future while your parents are looking through antique lenses at the marriage-models of the past. In the modern world of knowledge-workers, it doesn't matter very much whether an educated woman can cook or bear children. Modern marriage is not geared toward efficiencies of meal-preparation or urgent production of laborers.
Actually many modern marriages ignore the task of reproduction as it is largely irrelevant to the goals of social leadership; or they choose to have only one child. Modern marriage is a tightly fitted, elegantly coordinated, well-oiled machine that demands detailed agreement on values while closely managing time and resources to mutual benefit. The professionalized modern marriage is statistically most like to form in the mid-to-late thirties and it is also less likely to split than marriages made at an earlier age because neither party wants to lose the investment capital of a joint marital estate.
To be 31 and unmarried is a very good thing from the viewpoint of economically structured Shani! You made a very good choice to build a strong educational foundation which places you into the professional elite. Your marriage to a similar professional will benefit greatly from the personal discipline and time management skills that you have acquired in studies.
Since your parents are seeing you through the filter of another world, an older time, and a different purpose for marriage, they can be forgiven for thinking that you are dried out at 31. In their day (or their parents' day) the agricultural economies were best served by reducing the time between generations. Thus a woman could be"put into production"at age 12-13 and a new generation of workers would be born every 14 years. Plus, a woman needed to have a dozen pregnancies just to hope have three or four surviving children. Of course she needed to marry early to start on that long and exhausting and uncertain project of propagating the species. But these days? The information economy prefers intensely educated workers (who are generally created by educated parents). And those few children require concentrated attention to their individual development. One child is often enough and also most healthy modern women remain fertile into their late 40's.
It's a new world. But Mom and dad are speaking from"old programming". Dried out? Nothing could be further from the truth. No opportunity has been lost and many future possibilities have been gained. You are just getting started on a wonderful adult life that is fresh and full of potential. Take your time finding a suitable, emotionally-matched mate. You will have everything in due time.
In the modern world, it is smart to wait.
Painting:the Mystical Marriage of St. Catherine by Barna daSienna c. 1340
What is Love? In practical daily life, love
= validation by the partner.
Love is an extremely simple and ultimately powerful energy which must be"discovered" in the modern world because the veils of materialism have obscured it.
Some of this Love experience would appear to be very deeply karmic. It hurts!
However the result of developing one's capacity to Love will be extremely positive and beneficial in every single lifetime.
That knowledge gained through struggle to understand Love is the pearl of great price. Precious!
one may fight - and win - a lifelong battle to Recognize the greater reality of Love.
Every other graha competes for one 's attention. Some Graha are functioning in the current lifetime to work against one 's chance to experience validation = Love
These planetary agenda work against the goals of Surya, who is the Center of Divine Love in Earth's system . (There are other centers in bigger systems of which Earth is a part, e.g. our Galactic Sun, but in human perception, Surya is the main center.)
Shukra * Women, peer relationships, consulting, advising, equity, equality, equability, negotiations, contracts, matching, pairing, parity, partnership, participation
|Locating Spousal Traits within the D-1 and D-9|| |
The public, radical-material profile of the spouse(s) is seen in the bhava of the radical kundali. Social-material traits include rank, position, financial well-being, housing, in-laws, children, and other socially recognized attributes.
Navamsha evaluation of spousal relationships reveals the psychological expectations behind each marriage. D-9 patterns show specific dormant traits of the native which can only be apprehended consciously via the mirroring behavior of the spouse.
Counting from Chandra reveals a more private, intimate and emotionally acute level of marital reality. The same stepwise count, but starting from the Chandra-lagna, can describe the overall emotional orientation of the spouse. Exempli gratia, 7th-from-Chandra for spouse-1, 2nd-from-Chandra for spouse-2, 9th-from-Chandra for spouse-3, 4th-from-Chandra for spouse-4, and so on.
Emotional behavior of the spouse is a projection of one's own unacknowledged feelings. Those feelings are stored in memory. One with sharper psycho-emotional perceptive skills may indeed have dreams and visions of the forthcoming spouse before even meeting the physical partner.
Through skillful adjustment of one's own emotional reactivity, unmet needs, psychological projections, and unquestioned beliefs, even the most challenging marital positions vis-à-vis natal Chandra can become quite manageable. And of course each marriage is also a 'school' operated by the ruler of the indicated bhava, providing classroom lessons on the topics chosen by the spirit before undertaking the present incarnation.
How many marriages for me?
The single most reliable method of predicting how many marriages are in store for an individual, is to confirm the number of deep horizontal lines on the edge of the palm, immediately underneath the pinkie finger, on the native 's dominant hand. (The dominant hand is the pen-holding hand, the steering hand, the sewing hand...)
There are some Jyotisha techniques as well.
For one in the husband role, Shukra signifies the wife-figure. Thus, if there are additional graha sharing the bhava with Shukra, additional wives will be expected.
For one in the wife role, Guru signifies the first husband whereas Shani traditionally signifies additional husbands. The logic for wives is slightly different in that f there are additional graha sharing the bhava with Guru, additional husbands will be expected. However the character of the additional husbands must be assessed via both the graha-yuti-Guru and via the social-law conditions attending Professor Shani.
The task of interpreting these indicators requires some delicacy. Certain Shani-intensive cultures impose strict behavioral rules for marriage conduct. Any movement away from Shani's rules (Mangala) is considered dangerous to the social structure. As a result of the double standard between what is (Kuja) versus what should be (Shani) these cultures suffer from high rates of dishonesty and denial in human relationships, along with astronomical rates of political and financial corruption.
If the client hails from a Shani-intensive cultural background, or they are particularly fearful in attitude, or if the reading will be shared with the family, it may be better to not mention the indicators -- even though the karaka are as clear as day. In cultures which do not morally permit divorce, the indications of multiple marriage partnerships remain accurate but the additional liaisons may be deprived of social legitimacy i.e. no formally witness marriage ceremony may occur. The liaisons do occur, but the social punishment for admitting them is often so harsh that the only survival option is denial.
|Marriage Opportunity: Liberation from Fearfully Reactive Emotional Cycles|| |
In particular certain angles to Soma provide a valuable opportunity to clarify unresolved family relationships. E.g., the partner who enters in the role of 9th-from-Chandra repeats many of the characteristics of one's own father, one's mother's father, and early religious teachers.
If there are unresolved emotions remaining from childhood experience with these specific role-players, the partnership timed by 9th-from-Chandra is an excellent opportunity to forgive and break free of past karma.
Surya = Greatest Love
Surya (Kuja/Guru) represents the Greater Love. The greater love is not emotionally need-based and cannot be betrayed by loss, disdain or"cheating. The greater love is absolutely personal, and does not involve other humans.
Quest for the greater love is fueled by a love of knowledge, a hunger for Truth, a deep and ceaseless Spiritual Desire. The Greatest Love is considered by philosophers (lovers of knowledge) to be the ultimate prize for humans.
Chandra = Lesser but Essential Love
Chandra (Shukra/Shani) represents the Lesser Love. The lesser love is a sincere and genuine expression of human emotional need which cannot be disregarded or oppressed without emotional backlash. Humans need touch. Humans need security, protection, connection to a people and a place. Humans need mothering, sheltering, validation.
These are basic needs of the material and astral bodies. If these needs are not met in childhood, then one will remain unconscious, chained to the Moon, and living in lifelong hunger for continuous sheltering, ego-reflective mother-approval.
Humans are Sun-Moon creatures.
Each human must learn to consciously negotiate the Surya-Chandra dichotomy of"love perceptions. It is essential to not confuse the two worlds, but rather to appreciate how Chandra reflects Surya, protecting humans from spiritual overload until our electrical circuitry is capable of handling the Greater Love intensity.
| Love-drama *surya, romance |
working partnership * shukra, marriage
In a husband nativity, Shukra represents the first wife. The wife is not a girlfriend, a love interest, or a romantic liaison. Rather, the wife is an avowed partner.
The vow can be either publically witnessed (typically in a marriage ceremony) or privately (such as couple walking seven times around the sacred fire with Agni as their only witness). Or the marriage may be considered avowed when a child is born into the union, regardless of any promises spoken or unspoken.
The defining proof is either a witnessed vow or a live child.
However under some circumstances a hidden abortion (natural or therapeutic) or a private vow that was not upheld (a vow of marriage spoken but betrayed) may escape public notice.
Sometimes the person who was actually married several times in terms of pregnancies and private-witness vows appears to have been married only once due to"save-face" cover-ups to preserve their pure facade.
When accounting for graha yuti Shukra (multiple marriage for husband) or graha yuti Guru (multiple marriages for wife) do not count unavowed love romances as avowed marriages. Romances can be enduring, they might last for decades, the couple might live together and share resources, they might be highly sexualized (often more sexualized than marriage) and the relationship ending might be emotionally traumatic.
Unless a vow was witnessed or a child was born into the union, romances are not marriage. In fact, romantic love governed by brightly self-radiating, idealistic entertainment-oriented Surya is a very different experience from marriage governed by cool, accommodating, wealth-collecting, diplomatic Shukra.
| Q: How can I know what my wife will look like? |
I know you told me about characteristics of Shukra, and 7th-from-Chandra, and navamsha 7th amsha, and its lord, and all those other things but you are talking about the"relationship"and I want to know about the"woman"!
I want to know EXACTLY what I am going to get! How tall? Shape of eyes? Will she love me?
| A: When you are thinking about how to get the best results in your marriages, concentrate NOT on how to"get"a physical person. |
We do not"acquire" future experiences from some outside source in the future. The future is produced directly from our long-held and deeply embedded beliefs. Your wives are pre-assigned because you already have beliefs about who they are and how they help you. Your subconscious knows exactly what to expect. However the habitual mentality jumps in to the intuitive sensing process and disrupts our comfortable certainty that the prearranged partner will arrive at the appointed time.
Therefore it can be more helpful to apprehend the"future" (which is really just a dimension of the eternal present) NOT via obsessing about how someone looks in their material form, but rather by meditating on how you would like to FEEL in your partnership.
FEELINGS are a much better guide to our beliefs than mental imagery. You can feel this feeling in meditation. Then when you meet the physical form of the person who creates this feeling for you, you will know she is the one. There is no need for any anxiety.
Your wives are pre-assigned. Your subconscious knows exactly who they are. Instead of obsessing about how someone looks in their material form, meditate on how you would like to FEEL in your partnership. You can feel this lovely balanced bonded allied feeling in meditation.
Then when you meet the physical form of the person who creates this feeling for you on the material plane, you will know she is the one. There is no need for any anxiety. It is a feeling of deep certainty that can be profoundly satisfying if we do not allow the speculative, critical monkey-mind to disrupt the intuition.
Instead of obsessing about how someone looks in their material form, meditate on how you would like to FEEL in your partnership.
If you want the partner to trust you, you have to be certain that you can trust yourself. If you want an honest partner, you have to be honest yourself. If you want to be respected by your partner, respect yourself. These interactive qualities of partnership are the essential ones and they are all feelings which have NOTHING to do with how a person looks!
In marriage, the partner cannot change you and the partner cannot compensate for your imbalance-seeking-a-remedy. The partner has agreed before the present lifetime even began, to arrive into your life as a mirror and helper to increase your consciousness.
Remember we cannot "get" anything from "the future". Outside people, places, objects, and experiences are simply the projections of one's own stored beliefs. If you sit in quiet meditation you can create a blank movie screen in your mind and you can ask to be shown the figure of your first wife.
When you start to see her, do not obsess about her physical appearance. Of course men are very visual, but try not to fall into this trap because material appearance is not very informative. Rather, pay attention to how you FEEL in her presence.
Marriage amplifies all of our feelings about our own self. Check your feelings when you think about your expected marriage.
If you are nervous and restless inside, you can expect a frustrated and unsettled marriage-mirror. If you fuel a materialistic mentality and burn with the hunger to GET things (like GET a wife with a particular appearance), expect a greedy and grasping partner-mirror. If you are happy and balanced inside yourself, appreciating the relative values of the many forms of wealth in this world, you will have an enjoyable companionable and financially privileged marriage partnership.
Budha the Coupler
It is essential to learn to use the correct love tools in each appropriate Love World.
In inter-human relationships with other sentient beings, the compassionate one attends to the realities of the lesser love. Provide approval, safety, and validation to loved ones. Respond with Human Care.
In partnership with the Divine, the compassionate one opens the heart as wide as possible to receive the inflow of brilliant creative spiritual energy. Respond with Divine Praise.
| “When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are going to enjoy talking with this woman up into your old age? |
Everything else in marriage is transitory, but most of the time you are together will be devoted to conversation.”
~~ Twilight of the Idols 1844-1900 Friedrich Nietzsche
Falling in Love versus Marriage
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."~~ A Course In Miracles
Falling in love(a function of putra bhava) is a Suraj-type ego-driven Idealization projection.
One sees the Other as a mirror reflection Only of one's favorable (divine) traits. In the Idealized state, mirror-reflection of non-flattering or negative (non-divine) aspects of oneself are temporarily excluded due to Surya's instinct to see divine presence in the beloved.
Persons who have married after"falling in love will generally confirm that they"hoped that their Idealized, divinized, heart-love state to continue forever.
Experienced persons will confirm that, after marriage vows are spoken, the power of the D-9 comes fully into play. After marriage vows, one does start to receive the Guru-driven D-9" full view" of oneself from the spouse.
Can one move from the expectations developed under Surya in the idealized"falling in love stage, toward an authentic Zukra-guided contractual marriage?
That gap between the self-admiring, adolescent (5) projection of Suraj's divine intelligence vs. the balanced equality of Shukra's long-term partnering commitment is one of the reasons why" love marriage is considered socially treacherous. (And why parents, who have a track record of success in contractual partnership, are often charged with responsibility to arrange their child's marriage.)
Duino Elegies 1875-1926 Rainer Maria Rilke
| "The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus show each other the greatest possible trust. |
A merging of two people is an impossibility , and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development.
But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.
That is why this too must be the criterion for rejection or choice: whether you are willing to stand guard over someone else's solitude , and whether you are able to set this same person at the gate of your own depths, which he learns of only through what steps forth, in holiday clothing, out of the great darkness.
To take love seriously and to undergo it and learn it like a profession - that is what young people need to do.
Like so many other things, people have also misunderstood the position love has in life; they have made it into play and pleasure because they thought that play and pleasure are more blissful than work; but there is nothing happier than work, and love, precisely because it is the supreme happiness, can be nothing other than work.
So those who love must try to act as if they had a great work to accomplish: they must be much alone and go into themselves and gather and concentrate themselves; they must work; they must become something.
For the more we are, the richer everything we experience is. And those who want to have a deep love in their lives must collect and save for it, and gather honey."
Realistic expectations and goals for Modern Marriage
All human nativities have patterns similar to yours. That is, there are no godlike, ideal marriages in human, real life.
There is a generous amount of public denial of course; lots of people putting up a nice smooth social façade of"everything is fine" in their marriages!
The goal is *not* to manifest a marriage which has no growth potential and no dynamic energy for change - that is, a marriage free of individuality and conflict.
A lock-down psychic stasis like that might have been an ideal in medieval society when the average life span was about 40 years and physical survival depended on people taking absolutely fixed social roles. But in these days of dwapara yuga, the main goal of marriage is to provide a sanctuary of mutual understanding and emotional support for two spiritually independent individuals.
These two independent people choose to trust each other. Partners in trust can provide to each other a degree of social dignity and comfort, even while each partner continues to"work on their stuff. The"stuff is mainly unresolved trauma from childhood. (For those with clairvoyant vision, it can be known as trauma from parallel lives .)
It is essential for the karmic process that one should maintain faith in the possibility of a balanced partnership. It is smart and emotionally healthy to persist in the practice of entering into human partnerships, being hurt, practicing forgiveness, being healed, and being hurt again.
| Seva to eradicate negative expectations |
A strategy to Address negative graha in bhava-7 or seventh from Chandra
| Periods of the
yuvati-pathi or the ruler of
7th from Chandra = an excellent time for you to offer Seva to charities that serve widows or any persons who have been cheated or disappointed in the breakdown of promises or vows, for example women who have been impoverished by divorce. |
Even if your own finances are limited, please consider Seva as a good way to improve your situation. Donating personal service time is more powerful than donating money.
If you choose to offer Seva to those who have been harmed by widowhood or false promises, pay attention to their culture of negative expectations. It can be a very, very valuable learning experience to observe the way that people can perpetuate their negative experiences by holding to negative expectations especially fear.
You may notice a matching behavior in self which can easily be corrected via self-awareness. Expectations especially emotional expectations largely determine our material experience.
Any spouse would have been known by one for many, many parallel lives .
When it is time to activate the joint past-life karma, attraction * akarshana * happens (usually via Venus or Rahu ) and if Rahu is somehow associated with Venus or the marriage houses, there is a marriage.
Whether conventional or unusual in configuration, marriages manifest past-life self-knowledge and this is very much to a purpose.
Attraction * akarshana * is all about Matching Energy. Humans are attracted to Others who possess qualities we lack - but need and want - in order to psychically complete ourselves.
Direct knowledge of our own subconscious is, for most people, totally blocked.
The only way most of us can find out what's really going on in that vast heap of past-life accrual called"Self is by watching our own thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors played out in the mirror of our relationship to Others.
The most powerful of all Other-Mirrors is the marriage partner. Marriage is, for most people, the most demanding spiritual practice in life.
~~BPHS Ch. 77, shloka 11
The affectionate relationship between an employer and employee (master and servant) and man and women (husband and wife)
will be invariable and stable if they possess the same attributes.
~~BPHSCh. 80, shloka 17-21
If the 7th bhava be without a planet (without strength) and without benefic aspect,
the female born will have a coward and contemptible wretch for her husband.
~~BPHS Ch. 80, shloka 17-21
"When the 7th bhava is a moveable [ chara ] rashi,
the husband will always be away from home."
~~ Bhrigu Sutram Ch. 28 Shloka 8
"The woman will have a mean contemptible coward for her husband if, during birth, there be
Yuvati = yoga = yoke
Marriage - especially the first marriage - is represented in the radix chart by yuvati bhava , the 7th house.
Marriage is the central yoga, the central balance point, the central control, and the central discipline, of the entire life.
Like any yoke - or yoga - marriage creates both stability and bondage . Whether the public union of marriage is experienced as A blessing or a curse depends on the condition of yuvati bhava, and its relationship to each of the other 11 houses of the radix chart.
Despite the Euro-American romanticizing of marriage as a strictly personal, emotional decision, the Jyotisha view is that marriage is a very strategic choice which must be carefully considered in light of its future impact on one 's public standing.
Being 10th-from-10th , marriage is a critically important social status indicator.
Social status is indicated in order of importance by =
Marriage conditions are of high significance in social ranking and personal dignity. A strong marriage to a helpful, enthusiastic, appreciative partner can hugely assist career developments. The spouse and (by extension of the signification of bhava-7) other peer partners in business and community life, can potentially double one's effect in the world, which increases the public recognition and approval defined in bhava-10.
A weak marriage house bodes poorly for one 's self-respect, and makes high levels of public approval fairly inaccessible. And while a well-supported 10th house might "trump a challenging set of conditions in yuvati-bhava, it's unlikely that when the conditions of yuvati-bhava are subject to prolonged and repeating lessons (usually via constrictive drishti) one would find the support from advisors, counselors etcetera to enable a vigorous ascentup the ladder of social recognition no matter how excellent the characteristics of karma bhava.
| RAISING YOUR MIND TO AN ADULT LEVEL |
“Resting in Shamatha” in The Path of Individual Liberation : Volume One of The Profound Treasury of the Ocean of Dharma
by Chögyam Trungpa, p. 232
"If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, you cannot understand the dharma, and your body and mind will not be properly coordinated.
The practice of meditation helps you coordinate your body and your mind.
You realize that your mind can be directed to a particular effort, that your mind works.
Through shamatha, or the basic practice of meditation, you are able to raise your mind to an adult level.
Your mind does not jump all over the place whenever you try to do something."
Editing requires conscious use of"forgiveness which is very demanding emotionally, and should only be attempted by those who have reached sufficient levels of spiritual development.
Marriage not a Commodity, Possession, Goal or Achievement(although it is promoted as one!)
Sometimes I am asked to predict the timing of marriage.
Unfortunately, marriage is understood by most people as a property contract, and people rush into it on an acquisitive material basis.
However, what actually matters in the bubble of intimate relationships is emotional compatibility and equivalent expectations .
The worst test of the viability of the marriage bond occurs when emotional reactions conflict and when expectations are disappointed.
Therefore it is essential for these two elements of personality and culture to be effectively matched.
In the context of the anxiously acquisitive, parent-pleasing, social-worth process which surrounds this core spiritual event,"Getting" married questions tend to disturb effective divination. The anxiety underlying the inquiry - especially the interjected psychically manipulative energy of parents -- often deprives one of their sense-of-self earth grounding. When one lacks authentic grounding at the time of the query, the spirit-guides who (ultimately) provide the answers to divinatory questions can get confused about who is really asking the question.
Reflection upon the Purpose
I am of the opinion that the period before marriage should be a deeply contemplative and reflective period, no different from the assessment and re-conviction period required before taking the vows of any religious order.
In other words it ought to be a rather long time (at least a year) of reflecting upon personal readiness to undertake the single most spiritually demanding exercise of human life, and this reflection should have NOTHING to do with the perceived social-material assets or liabilities of the Other.
By contrast, divorce should be easy and neutralized.
Preparations for Partnership = handling arguments (6), emergencies (8), and loss (12)
In particular the two partners must have high levels of pre-existing agreement about the proper response to periods of life crisis (6, 8, 12) when the bond of trust is likeliest to break. The partners must go into the union with pre-existing cultural or intellectual commitments ALREADY ESTABLISHED.
A plan must be in place for how to handle the portfolio of the three dushthamsha = illness or addiction (6), illicit behaviors and crime (6), arguments (6), sudden wealth (8) or sudden poverty (6), children's education (8), separations due to hospitalization, imprisonment or long sojourn in foreign lands (12) death of children (6), extramarital affairs (6, 8, 12) betrayal of trust (6), secret financial dealings (8) and perhaps the most difficult of all, how to handle in-laws (8).
Core Values (Zukra) and Expectations (Chandra) must match
First of all it should be mentioned that for a sane, mature adult there is a big, obvious difference between"expectations "and"ideals ". Expectations reflect human cultural norms. Ideals are standards of godlike perfection.
This fact of human life should become patently obvious to all thinking adults sometime near the age of 31. From a Jyotisha perspective, by this point in life, one has endured three Rahu-Ketu cycles and the Saturn return is finished. One has endured at least a single occurrence Shani Ashtamsha, or two occurrences if Nishturabhashi Yoga applies Chandra-yuti-Shani .
According to modern neuroscience, the human brain reaches cellular development maturity at approximately age 30-31. (This is one of the strongest arguments for the unpopular but medically sound proposal to raise the USA legal drinking age to 30.)
Marriage before age 31
It stands to reason, therefore, that marriages accomplished before the age of 31 should be closely supervised by elders who have a much more clearly articulated perception regarding the difference between expectations and ideals. Young marriage partners have not yet fully individualized. They do not, characteristically, have much objective information about the cultural values that they have been raised to internalized. It is not easy for a young person to truly accept that there might be several acceptable and viable ways of responding emotionally to a given social situation. Rather, a young person tends to asume that one was raised in the"right" way by one's own worshipful parents/culture, and that anyone whose behaviors veers from the standards and HABITS with which one was raised in an (unexamined, unanalyzed) family-culture setting must be"wrong" or"crazy". This natural, adolescent ir own culture. tend to be very idealistic.
Longevity of marriage - individuals (1) remaining legally bound into the property (4) contract (7) - is perceived as the highest value of marriage. Naturally longevity of financial investments is one of the best ways to develop financial well-being, and society (10) favors long contracts for purposes of system (11) stability (4). But again longevity is most patently NOT the highest spiritual (9) value of marriage. Rather, depth and intensity of the shared (7) spiritual work between partners is what counts from the viewpoint of the death-bed.
~~ UK-Prince Consort 1921- Philip Mountbatten, 1997 golden wedding tribute to his wife
"I think the main lesson we have learned is that tolerance is the one essential ingredient of any happy marriage.
You can take it from me that the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance."
Before attempting a marriage divination, I like to make sure the client recognizes what they are asking for. Yes, they are asking for the timing of an event - and that is what Jyotisha does best! - but do they realize the significance of this event? How this event will change their life forever, in an often very difficult and angry way?
So, I usually counsel anyone anxious about marriage to note that despite intensive marketing of wedding products and our lifelong socialization to"get married as a major status achievement (Shani) marriage is in fact not a fixed commodity. Marriage is, more than anything, a state of mind.
This seems to be an important level of awareness for many marriage-timing clients, particularly those with insecure, demanding parents.
First of all, we are benefited to remember that guilt causes reactive confusion And resulting poor decisions. Embarking upon a marriage for the central purpose of to assuaging filial guilt will perpetuate the guilt in the marriage environment.
Parents who push their children into marriage to alleviate their own social insecurity are compounding the marriage anxiety and making the astrologer's job hard to accomplish!
The client who"needs to be married within the next yearin order to satisfy some social requirement (esp. parents) is likely to be entering a very low consciousness marriage, and to not be using their own healing agenda as a guide to choosing their marriage partner.
Yes I can see the timing of this event, but I can also foresee the bitter consequences. The client him/herself who demands marriage within a favorable time-and-money framework rather than allowing the spiritual healing agenda to dictate when they feel ready to take on a partner, is in"victim mode. Such a person feels that marriage is an uncontrollable experience which happens "to" one.
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Secondly, anxiety about loneliness, inferior social status of single women, etc. are is also symptomatic of an unconscious marriage. Unless bare physical survival is at stake, I like to counsel clients to be aware that marriage will cause many more problems than it solves.
The se are good problems to have, of course - the problems of intimate healing, the problems of sharing the devastation of the cycle of birth and death with another being, the problems of vital and vigorous negotiation of identity, of meaning, of balance. Good problems to have.
Having a wedding will not solve your problems. Having a wedding does create the possible conditions for healing, but at least in the short run being married simply compounds the scope and number of problems because there are two people's karma to manage now.
I like to preface any anxious consultation about the timing of marriage with a rather sober lecture on taking responsibility for how this marriage unfolds, rather than hyperventilating with unbearable uncertainty about the calendar day of the ceremony.
If it wasn't for the vow, which makes this union a truly sacred commitment, the day of the ceremony would have no value at all. The real work is not in"getting married but in"being married - for sure!
Rather, marriage is a Living Yoga
As the old saying goes, everyone wants to"get married", but no one wants to"be married".
But of course it is the"being" married which is the true reality. There is really nothing to"get", except the social approval. All the work and all the reward is loaded into the"being" part.
Marriage is actually a living spiritual environment like a garden which must be lovingly tended, through drought and frost, in good years and bad. It has weather cycles like the earth. A long dry spell might kill it.
Much like a child, it is constantly in process, constantly negotiating for change, and requires constant awareness and attention.
Clearly marriage is not a"thing or an"achievement but rather an interactive process. Marriage is an Ongoing yoga = a vital and supremely demanding negotiation for self-definition, core meaning, emotional security, and higher truth.
Marriage is a sophisticated spiritual practice which needs dedication and wise guidance.
The core of marriage practice is ongoing forgiveness which allows us to register disappointment, anger, grief etc.
Forgiveness allows one to accept responsibility for the karma, and - at the point of acknowledgement - to release the addiction to suffering, by releasing the attachment to the cause.
In particular, the Marriage house's location in 9th-from-11th and 11th-from-9th shows how marriage expresses the power of Dharma in one 's life.
Marriage partner brings Dharma (in the sense of Wisdom) to one in two essential ways =
"Inward spiritual practices such as meditation, breathing techniques and self-analysis generate insights and enhance abilities.
But none are so useful as learning to live harmoniously in a committed relationship, being a skillful parent, or juggling the demands of daily life."
Varga or"divisional charts show the results of any undertaking of life.
the varga for marriage is Navamsha or 9th division, which shows the" fruits of Dharma.
Presuming an accurate birth-time, navamsha (D-9) will be consulted side-by-side with radix (D-1) chart, to evaluate not only the material but also the inner psychological dynamics of marriage.
Accurate predictions require concurrence between material (d-1) and psycho-emotional (d-9) configurations. Normally there is reasonable concurrence in the two perspectives. However, when the navamsha and radix spousal indications are contradictory, there is usually to be found a public/private split in which things look on the outside (d-1) much different than they feel on the inside (d-9) in the marriage.
There is also a matching pattern between =
These D-1-to-D-9 links show the issues on which you two partners are spiritually working together. Traits which are dormant or subordinate in partner-1 will be alive or dominant in partner-2. Thus each partner mirrors the other's arising consciousness, and facilitates spiritual growth by evoking astral imagery into real world action.
The navamsha reveals traits, desires, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. which are dormant but trying to rise into consciousness in your life. You find the partner who is already acting these out in the material world. You are intensely attracted to this person; they are everything you admire, everything you crave, everything you want to be. This person completes you; expresses you; forms your other half.
Naturally, you marry them!
Examine each house in Navamsha from the appropriate partner lagna to know the level of your soul that is just now moving from subconscious to conscious. We usually need partners to bring out this new personality growth in us. (Even if that partner is the ishtadevata.)
Every action has a reaction. Every attraction contains its own repulsion. Ask any good Buddhist = if you are intensely attracted to something now, rest assured you will be intensely repulsed by that same thing in the future!
A significant part of the work of marriage is learning to manage the cycles of desire and contempt one feels toward one's partner over long periods of time.
All marriages are timed by Rahu-Ketu, which means that all marriages involve attraction-repulsion.
But in either case Desire (which eventually boomerangs to Contempt) plays a major karmic role in Marriage. The karmic forces behind marriage are so strong that it seems not to matter much whether one chooses one's mate through falling in love -- or allows that mate to be chosen by one's social guardians. When it is time for the karmic partner to find its mate, that partner will find its mate!
It is often observed in modern India, where arranged marriages remain fairly common, that the success rate of arranged marriages Approximately equals the success rate of love marriages.
About 50% of marriages are satisfying; about 50% are problematic --- regardless of whether these unions are self-arranged or tribally/parentally-arranged.
The big-picture view is that, no matter what social mechanism selects the mate , we will all create (through impetus of samskara) a spouse/series of spouses who perfectly match our karmic job description = )
The big-picture view is that, no matter what social mechanism selects the mate , we will all create (through impetus of samskara) a spouse/series of spouses who perfectly match our karmic job description = )
Yoked Work = Maintaining the Intention to Reach Agreement
Successful Marriage requires discipline, self-knowledge, and moral effort.
Marriage can only survive when there is Agreement on how to conduct the division of karmic labor
The higher and more spiritual sophisticated is the agreement level (spiritual, mental, social, financial, physical) the easier is the partnership.
There is never perfect agreement (as long as humans have egos, anyway) and so there is never an effortless marriage.
Certainly the lines between gay vs. straight marriages are increasing blurred as modern societies move out of survival urgency, and sex-role divisions of labor fade into history...
Yet, in these early years of the second millennium, it is generally the case that
In order to continue their most significant spiritual work and break through their most challenging inner barriers, most women desire marriage to men, and most men to women. This gender-conventional attraction pattern is the most direct method of revealing and healing their childhood trauma with the opposite-gender parent.
Which parent = "needs work"?
But what if the greater difficulty, blocked emotional access, negligence, lack of expected guidance and nurturing, even physical abuse, is linked with the same-gender parent ? Then, it is more likely that the subconscious will direct one into a same-gender relationship.
Gender of the spouse will tend toward the gender of the difficult parent as in conventional unions, but at this point in the logic we need to be able to distinguish between sex and gender.
Sex is a biological feature of human bodies. Gender is a shifting, volatile social construction that categorizes roles and behaviors into groups. For example, 'masculine' in some times-societies means "wears pointy shoes, wigs, skirts, and lace" (17th cen European aristocrats) and in other societies-times means "wears nothing except a bird feather" (traditional hunters in hot climates).
Sex is biology. Gender is an idea.
The psycho-spiritual purpose of marriage is to work out the problems one had, in childhood, with the more-difficult parent.
Sugar and Vinegar
If one knows one's own healing agenda well enough, it is quite possible to spot that next spouse at 500 yards.
|Jyotisha and Gender Symbolism|| |
In alternative or non-conventional unions, the symbolism of Sun as masculine and Moon as "feminine will signify father and mother, husband and wife, reason and intuition, etc.
One of the strongest and most satisfying energetic pairings is male-Sun with female-Moon. This Sun-Moon configuration is both interpersonally and socially validating, and it contributes a major endurance factor into any partnership.
However, it is critically important to be intellectually vigilant in Jyotisha analysis of alternate sexual orientation unions.
Gender is a psycho-social construct!
The Sun-male/Moon-female balance works just as well emotionally and is just as socially sanctioned, when it occurs between a male guru and a male student, in a naturally dominant-subordinate or manifest-dormant type of wisdom relationship, such as guru-sisya.
The partner whom one attracts for the purpose of balancing a weakness of"Surya energy will have - relative to oneself - significant"masculine qualities such as stronger public presentation, more rational decisiveness, better developed (even overdeveloped) Ego.
The partner who is attracted in order to help balance a weakness of"Chandra will have significant"feminine qualities such as stronger listening skills, more patience, better developed intuition, and emotional sensitivity than one .
However, despite the general patterns, there is no fixed requirement that this helper should have any particular anatomical attributes.
Healing, conscious intimate partnerships are legitimate and available in virtually every configuration of Sun, Moon, male, and female.
Timing = When? Meeting the partner =
Meeting the partner =
This is often true. Zukra bhukti script often brings a highly attractive person into the field of one's perception.
Virtually any bhukti of the Zukra Mahadasha can also bring the future spouse into one's range of view.
However, I have noticed that a future spouse is also met in periods of navamsha lagnesha-1 or yuvatipathi-7 , or Rahu.
Three conditions must be met for the timing of marriage =
Any of the following marriage-making Vimshottari bhukti must occur.
Gochara Rahu-Ketu must be traveling through any of the following seven lagna =
The graha which triggers marriage must have a radix-activated navamsha lord. I.e., the navamsha lord of the marriage-maker must ALSO be marriage-empowered in radix .
In addition, one should have marriageable age and status, according to the customs of their own culture.
|Q = How can I determine the timing of my marriage? One of the most promising marriage periods has passed, the object of my romantic interest does not share my enthusiasm, and I remain yet unmarried!|| |
A =Namaste, Generally speaking, marriage occurs in Vimshottari subperiods of one of the following graha
To trigger the marriage event, there should be a corresponding transit of Rahu-Ketu to one of the key points in either radix or navamsha, such as
You should be able to determine the timing windows using your own Jyotisha knowledge of your Vimshottari Dasha.
Delay by Shani
Enforced marriage by Shani
In these circumstances it may be found that a widower is desperate to care for one's children, or a child-bride is sold for a dowry to feed her family history. A bride is taken to be used as a servant, to be imprisoned, or intentionally harmed. Typically there are severe Shani-related indicators in Chandra, 7th radix, 7th navamsha etc.
Rahu trumps all
Another possibility is that during extremely strong periods of Rahu, no supporting conditions are required. Rahu's passionate desire to possess the forbidden can create a rush into marriage, often in cross-cultural circumstances, which"breaks all the rules including the Jyotisha timing rules.
Example of Shani delay
In your own nativity, Shani rules both navamsha-7 and radix-7. As you know, Shani signifies elder partners or those from characteristic Shani circumstances (scarcity, delay, rigidity). Furthermore Ketu occupies bhava-7 and Ketu rules Chandra's Nakshatra . Ketu becomes a strong significator of marriage. In fact, in this nativity, Ketu sub-periods could also produce marriage (if supporting factors were in place).
The recent Shani transit through Simha was so powerful, oppressing both the marriage lord (Shani) and Ketu, that marriage did not occur despite the presence of the two key conditions (Shani bhukti and Rahu-Ketu crossing the navamsha lagna). Consider also the general signification of yuvatipathi-7 in the lagna, suggesting that one will be of older age than average at the time of marriage.
In your own nativity, study carefully the implications of Zukra-Vrizchika , Shukra in 8th-from-Chandra, and Ketu in bhava-7 in a rashi of Shani. Consider also the role of the dara-karaka. financial wealth is there. Shani may be creating marriage delays for purpose of moral strengthening through maturity.
| || |
This is a generic Vimshottari period timeline which gives classic"marriage and family Jyotisha timing via the Karaka graha. This pattern works regardless of the house ownerships.
The n, following immediately after Rahu bhukti comes
There are of course many interesting varieties of marriages, and many ways to experience the marriage-and-family trajectory; nevertheless it is good to recognize the most common karaka pattern.
|Marriage timing schedule implicit in the Bhukti =|| |
Even if Shani is neither lagnesha-1 nor ruler of navamsha-7 ,
|About second marriage =|| |
IMO, if you are more than 30 years old, don't panic regarding the doomsday statistics for second marriage. Prognosis is good for second marriage in general, presuming one has matured emotionally during Shani return age 28-31 and Rahu return age 27-29.
Timing = Second Marriage
Traditionally, bhukti of lord-of-2nd-from-Zukra will introduce the second spouse.
Second marriage ceremony
(For a detailed analysis of navamsha activation in a sample nativity, please see timing from Navamsha and Gochara Nodes. )
|Timing = Third Marriage =|| |
Traditionally, bhukti of lord-of-9th-from-Zukra will introduce the third spouse.
Timing = Fourth Marriage
Traditionally, bhukti of lord-of-4th-from-Zukra will introduce the fourth spouse.
|BPHS, Ch 6, Shloka 13|| |
"Proper time for marriage ceremony =
Celebrating marriage is auspicious when the Sun is in the signs of
If the Sun is in the sign of Gemini,
then in the month of Ashadha
If the Sun is in the sign of Scorpionis
if the Sun is in the sign of Capricorn,
if the Sun is in the sign of Aries ,
|Q = Will the second spouse make a better contribution to the joint wealth of the marriage than the first spouse?|| |
Three primary factors characterize one's in-laws in the second marriage. These are the three factors which indicate the family, wealth, and values attached to the second spouse .
The combined profile of these three joint-asset angles defines the joint assets of the second marriage.
Q = Is the chance of"survival" for a marriage better if we choose to be married during the appropriate Bhukti or is that just a period of increasing likelihood of marriage?
A = Marriages pretty much occur on schedule of the Vimshottari dasha. It is actually not possible to experience a marriage unless the planets are lined up correctly.
Although we do have the power to choose how to react to events, psychically untrained humans rarely have the power to direct the unfoldment of major life events. The sequence of life defining events is controlled by the stored beliefs which are held in the memory banks.
The benefit of Jyotisha in the modern age is that through the Vimshottari Dasha system (and other complimentary dasha systems) we can see a likely sequence of unfoldment based on the station of Chandra at the time of birth. During the present civilization, Chandra's rays are assigned to hold the emotional memory of earth-based humans.
Ritually propitiating the graha is superstitious in the extreme, since the graha are only mirrors showing us the arrangement of our own memory seed-banks. The source of marriage longevity is the native's own expectations. Marriage is a property contract (7 = 4th-from-4th).
If this legally contracted union is to survive the various changes that each partner undergoes as part of their conscious evolution in this lifetime, then the graha-mirrors which indicate social orthodoxy, economic interdependence, and emotional stability will dominate the mirrors which show individuality, creativity, adventurousness, or spiritualized detachment from the world.
Navamsha is a window into the astral body. The astral self consists mainly of personal beliefs (not social doctrine, not religious teachings, not ideology). If the graha-mirror which rules the 1st navamsha of the radical lagna or the 7th navamsha of the radical lagna happens to be the bhuktipati at the time of the marriage contract avowal and that graha-mirror by its natural character favors partnership more than independence, then the forecast favors longevity of the marriage vow.
So yes if one wanted a bit of extra insurance against the two partners getting out of sync with their mutual expectations of contract longevity, choosing to perform the marriage ceremony during a period of a mutuality-prone graha-mirror can add support to the existing belief. That is one reason why marriage during bhukti of Shukra is so common.
However if the existing personal belief is not consonant with the social mandate to extend marriage contracts "until death do ye part" then no amount of well-chosen bhukti timing can counteract a karmic seed-belief.
Society is driven by the urge to genetic survival of the species, but society (Shani) is unconcerned with the well-being of unique individuals (Surya). Orderly property arrangements are very beneficial to the social-material hierarchies. However personal evolution of consciousness will usually trump the convenience of society, and a person who needs to break their marriage contract in order to advance their consciousness will do so no matter how auspicious the marriage bhukti may have been.
One signal indeed that the native is acting on a seed-belief that the marriage must fulfill an exotic, taboo-breaking or expedient purpose is when the native chooses to marry during a Rahu bhukti. These Rahu-timed marriages are often driven by urgent purposes such as to give birth to a very extraordinary child, or to create a dramatic political union which empowers a kingdom. However Rahu is goal-oriented and once the goal is achieved the union expires.
First marriage occurs during the bhukti of the proper lord plus a gochara Rahu-Ketu contact to one of the key axes such as R-K axis on D-1, D-9 or Chandra lagna in D-1 or D-9 or radical lagna of D-1 or D-9.
Bhukti of the subsequent navamsha lords with corresponding Rahu-Ketu transits to correct axes may bring subsequent marriages (if any). A more-or-less auspicious day or month within the destined bhukti may be chosen by the marriage partners or by their parent. Yet the timing of marriages is rather a karmic affair, with larger forces enforcing the purpose of the union.
The longevity of the first (or any other) marriage depends on how fast and in which way the person's consciousness is changing in this lifetime. The first marriages of people in traditional cultures nearly always survive their full lifetimes because there is not much identity change programmed into cultures where material identity is static albeit within a richly emotional environment, and at the social level stability of alliances is prized above individual creativity.
In western-liberal-doctrine that value creativity and newness, there is high permission for changing ego-membrane structure, i.e. frequent redefining the relationship between the individual and various social institutions. There is room within the economic and ideological structures for several major identity redefinitions during a single lifetime.
Major changes in a person's worldview will often mandate a reassessment of those primary relationships which confirm and support the social-material identity. With the advantages of elite critical-thinking skills, along with an unprecedented amount of free time for therapy and reflection, we can peel through many karmic layers of fear-of-change and ignorance-of-possibilities. Small advances in consciousness that used to consume multiple incarnations can now be accomplished in only a few years. Add to the speed of image processing in modern culture a sex-positive value system, and it is easy to see why many folks feel driven through relationship after relationship in a high-speed"house of mirrors ".
Longevity is not, in itself, the ultimate goal of marriage. Consciousness is the ultimate goal of marriage. Therefore for a nativity that shows multiple unions (several graha with Shukra for husband's nativity or several graha with Guru for wife's nativity), it can be VERY USEFUL to have several spiritually legitimate but relatively short-term marriages.
In the west our family arrangements, including spousal alliance, can change much more frequently than alliances within traditional cultures. It's important to understand the Jyotisha nativity to avoid interpreting creativity as social instability or vice versa.Individual values do not always match social doctrine.
Traditional cultures still hear the voice of"survival" which was urgent at many junctures of the Earth's past. .. but is arguably not so critical now with 7 billion folks sharing the surface of our beautiful blue jewel planet. These cultures fear boundary invasion and relationship innovation because they have racial memory of terrible food scarcity and disempowerment in the Earth's past.
However the more technologically modern change-oriented individualized cultures may interpret stability as stagnation and permit multiple pleasures (Zukra) and multiple fathers for a woman's children (Guru). In reading the Jyotisha nativity note the strength of Shani (fear, punishment) to see restrictions on change that may make social"survival" of a marriage alliance more important than the personal happiness of the partners.
If creative, innovative, taboo-challenging, or self-reinvention planets control the axis of the first or subsequent marriages, these marriages may be tumultuous and brief or at least not life-long.
On the other hand if the axis for a particular marriage is controlled by Shani there may be a very long commitment praised by outer society which on a personal level may require major compromise, adaptation, and not infrequently repression/oppression.
That was a long answer to your short question! IMO, the prognosis for marriagelongevity involves an evaluation of the spiritual purpose that marriage is designed to serve .
If the person is working through major emotional trauma in this life, the survival of particular marriage may be intentionally brief, and that brevity of contractual commitment can be both socially and spiritually legitimate.
Having said that, I do agree that the small choices we can make within the greater karmic framework, as to choosing an auspicious day and location, are very beneficial to the spiritual well-being of the partners joined in that holy ceremony.
Not because our small human choices can override the greater plan, but because in seeking to choose the most harmonious conditions we are expressing a higher consciousness and a desire to work hand-in-hand with the divine, which is always a helpful attitude to sustain in every day of a working marriage.
Higher consciousness partners who consider themselves bound to each other through the divine, will generally enjoy their marriages much more than those bound to each other in order to satisfy parents, religion, or government. So choosing an auspicious day and inviting the spirits to be present at the joining ceremony is a powerful evidence of the partners' mutual desire for a long and fruitful marriage.
| What counts as a marriage? |
Any officiated marriage whether secular or religious, where vows are spoken (by the partners or their priests).
Exchange of written vows in cases where the husband or the wife are not permitted to speak.
In practice there may be an early, impulsive, brief, childless legal marriage - less than three months duration - in which vows were spoken while drugged or in a confused or traumatized state of mind. These rare, deceptive pseudo-marriages are null and do not count as first marriage despite the fact that the"performative statement" was issued.
It has been common practice in many cultures worldwide and especially now in the modern west, for partners to enjoy long-term exclusive sexual partnerships, especially in youth.
However, there is still a difference between these often deeply healing, loving relationships and a real marriage -- at least for the purpose of calculating the timing of future marriages. The difference is, were vows taken or a child born ?
Most often the live-in partnership, while mimicking marriage in terms of division of labor, is explicitly *not* a marriage spiritually speaking, because the partners explicitly decline to take sacred vows.
When counting houses to find your current or future spouse, be sure to consider all vows and all conceptions, or your understanding of which house matches which spouse may be inaccurate.
~~ Jataka Desha Marga , Ch. 14, shloka 44-45
"To judge the suitability of a couple,
And the omens should be taken into consideration by the learned astrologer and then only the marriage should be performed since the marital union is the most fundamental ritual in the life of mankind."
~~ Bhrigu Sutram Ch. 24 Shloka 9
"The woman will quit her husband and marry another;
if the 7th house from the Ascendant or the Moon-occupied signs be found with malefics as well as benefics."
Q = I lived with my faithful sexual partner for 30 years ... but we never got legally married.
The vidya of Jyotisha sees true marriage as validated by either
(1) avowal = vows spoken before a witness
(2) by sacrament of birth = a child born into the union.
Even long-term, emotionally committed, healing, monogamous relationships (which are so common here in the West) are not considered marriages.
Even when partners love each other sincerely, but for their own reasons never advance to the socially recognized commitment of speaking vows, is not considered a marriage.
The early relationship you mention -- even though it contained a proposal of marriage -- in fact never advanced to the spoken vows . The proposal was neither accepted nor enacted. Unless a child was born through that union, it is not a Jyotisha marriage.
So, astrological indicators should be pointing to your first marriage, if you're feeling ready now to accept and act!
Long, committed non-vow partnerships may be found via either the house of Romance (bhava-5) or the house of Friendship and Goals (bhava-11), depending on the nature of the commitment.
Unlike bhava-11 non-vow partnerships, bhava-5 instigated love affairs tend to have shorter duration. Mantrabhava may produce marvelous feelings of childlike wonder and desire unto bliss, but bhava-5 lack the kendra; foundation of a lifetime promise.
21 Mithuna * 21 Dhanusha
"21 degrees of Sagittarius with its opposition 21 degrees of Gemini is a very curious [degree],
It may be that natives with this degree have an antipathy to marriage
and are quite happy to remain single ,
It may be that some tragedy intervenes to prevent marriage,
If they do marry, it is seldom a happy union and usually does not last long.
They sometimes have several marriages in an effort to find happiness."
You will know, if you have met someone special in a period of Venus (or 2nd-from-Venus for 2nd marriage = male; 2nd from Guru also for female) AND An appropriate bhukti AND one of the required Rahu-Ketu transits will soon apply, that you are likely to be getting married in the near future.
Not guaranteed, of course, but generally the two factors of correct bhava-lord bhukti plus nodal movement makes marriage quite likely indeed.
Usually, if the timing is right, it's the One(or second One or third One) and that person is "good for you spiritually whether being good for you = easy- or not.
Some marriages, especially those undertaken during period of Rahu, might better be avoided by those with the self-knowledge to avoid them . But this is a Catch-22 statement because it is precisely the Rahu-dominated folks who can't avoid these marriages due to intense, past-life-rooted passions which strongly tend to make history repeat itself. Rahu gives burning desires for pleasure, excitement, tumultuous change, and uprising of subconscious patterns into consciousness. If your consciousness permits a higher awareness of your repeating desire patterns, you can avoid uncomfortable marriages entirely by working out some other type of partnership [business, caretaking, service] with the object of your Rahu-driven passions.
~~ Bhagavata Purana 4.16.17
Think of the other's wife as your mother,
and your own wife as half of your body.
Relationship between the partners' respective Moon lords = overall emotional harmony in the marriage. E.g., Mesha Moon and Meena Moon although 2/12 have friendly lords, which assists compatibility.
Opposite moon pairs, such as his=Virgo, hers=Pisces, are auspicious for emotional balance and mutual cooperation in marriage.
However the benefits of opposite-pairing are reduced when Moon lords are unfriendly, such as Leo-Aquarius,
Moon = same rashi = excellent but beware both partners will get hit with Sade Saati at the same time.
Relationship between the partners' Lagna lords = physical harmony
Opposite lagnas, opposite Venus-Mars can give lasting physical attraction * akarshana *. Same lagna is also very compatible.
Aspects between Moon and Sun display private vs. public role coordination. Psycho-emotionally these aspects reveal the mother/father balance in each person.
- or -
Ravi in bhava-7 gives a broadly independent streak to the spouse. Surya here tends to attract partners who, while they may be very loving, also have their own way of doing things.
On the plus side, Ravi in 7th gives strong negotiation and contract-agreement skills, so that you are also gifted to craft rational agreements between partners (presuming each Mercury position is OK).
Do not expect much natural or emotional-affinity-based concord between the spouses when Surya occupies 7th radix or 7th navamsha.
Surya represents the rational intelligence and leadership. Expect to do a lot of negotiating in marriage because both partners are strong-willed and self-concerned.
shows love attracted;
rules incoming pleasures
To be happy over the long term, a couple must derive pleasure from at least some of the same habits, customs, ways of spending time and money, etc. Coordinated Venus positions really help.
Venus in 7th makes a person physically attractive and highly skilled in the erotic arts, but their sensual nature is strong enough to extend their affections to a second marriage when that time comes.
Usually the first spouse is quite attractive if Venus in 7th is strong.
Venus in the 7th house means two marriages, because there is overflowwhen Venus occupies his own house.
The first marriage may be very satisfying in its day, but eventually a second marriage should be expected (during some future bhukti of lord of the 2nd navamsha).
Mars (Kuja, Mangala)
shows love projected,
gives outgoing sexual energy
Two opposing Mars, or Mars opposing Moon, may create a powerful emotional/sexual attraction initially. But unless other planets step in to smooth communication, Mars makes fights.
The two partners' Venus and Mars positions reveal sexual communication style. These styles determine physical, emotional, and possibly spiritual sexual compatibility.
profiles communication abilities
compatible Budha positions are a major blessing, allowing the couple good internal communication
Buddha characteristics also contribute to education levels; similarly educated people have high levels of cultural agreement that is a benefit in marriage
Jupiter shows wisdom, open-mindedness, and religious nature
represents religion, values, and consciousness, blessings earned in parallel life .
The couple's charts should show either religious agreement or personal respect (good Jupiter aspects to Sun, Mars, Mercury). Otherwise, arguments about ethics and religion can destroy mutual trust.
The person whose D-1 Jupiter conjuncts or trines your D-1 Moon will protect you and improve your life.
Partner's Jupiter conjunct one's own Chandra is generally a highly beneficial arrangement.
Ideally * very ideally * Jupiter in the male chart and Moon in the female chart should be in the same sign or trine signs.
Shani shows responsibility and karma
determines one's karmic obstacles and work style
the partners' Saturn positions should be compatible if they are to enjoy an adequate division of labor
Tight orbs between her Saturn and his Moon, or his Saturn and her Sun, may reveal emotional oppression.
Conversely, well-related Saturn positions can give excellent working relationships, mutually respectful joint planning, and great wealth. Saturn and bhava-4 (10th-from-7th) shows the"public face" of the marriage.
Partner's Rahu conjunct your Moon is generally NOT a good thing.
The person with Rahu in the same sign with your Chandra will cause you sorrow.
Arudha lagna of the rashi 7th house shows The inner truth of a marriage, Often a quite different story from how the marriage appears on the outside.
May all beings venerate life as a state of deep spiritual intimacy.
Hi ... I have been surfing through your articles with much interest. I had a question that I thought you could also include on your site.
It isn't really personal or asking for a personal reading ... But is it logical for one to feel at a certain point that in the near future they are going to meet the 'one' - as in their life partner?
For the past few months I have had this very thought coming to mind ... that the 'time' has come and I will in the near future meet the person I will spend my life with.
I haven't met the person but deep within I can very well feel it-ultimately I tell myself that when it is meant to be and when God has it planned for only then will I meet this person.
Namaste, Good question!
I wouldn't say it's "logical" to intuit that the"one key partner" is approaching at a certain phase of life, but rather that such a longing for completion through the company of the life-companion is very widespread amongst humans - perhaps we could say universal. Even the celibate religious do yearn for completion through merging with the Divine.
We are all provided with an inner voice. As you suggest, the inner teacher will tell us when a major milestone approaches, such as marriage, childbirth, or death. Unfortunately most people have trouble hearing that voice. Therefore the Divine has provided us with a backup method of prediction, in the form of Jyotisha.
Ceremonial marriage generally occurs in the bhukti of (1) seventh navamsha's lord, or (2) Shukra, or (3) Rahu-Ketu, or (4) Shani. There are a few other combinations too. Rahu-Ketu must simultaneously transit one of the key axes of either radix or navamsha, to set the timing of marriage.
Sometimes the clear inner voice seems to be absent. It might be drowned out by anxiety or overwhelmed by the social expectations of others, particularly parents and other authorities. Anxiety is often matched in Jyotisha by self-doubt + rogesha-6 or Ketu. Jyotisha's traditional timing predictions can support the intuition and calm one's anxiety about the future.
I completely agree with you that the"feeling of anticipating the arrival of the marriage era, and of the spouse, is tangible. There will be dreams and other psychic portents - look for these during periods of the L-12, especially L-12 from Chandra.
From these signs alone one could confirm onset of marriage time, if one had sufficient faith. However for those who seek confirmation from the vidya of Jyotisha, the Vimshottari dasha is a reliable supplementary guide to marriage timing, usually during periods of the lord of the navamsha-1 or navamsha-7, but also periods of Shukra and Rahu can bring marriage. If any of these era are imminent for you, then the deeper intuition can be Jyotisha-confirmed.
May Shri Ganesha help us remove all obstacles to clear intuition.
All the best, Barbara Pijan Lama, Jyotisha
Q : Is a marriage for Jyotisha purposes any spoken vow of monogamy between partners?
A : Namaste =
Jyotisha considers a union to be a marriage if a vow is spoken. Typically the vow is spoken in front of a witness such as a religious or civil priest (I.e., judge, ship's captain, other officiants of civil religion).
However, the ancient customs of hand-fasting, and walking around the 'homa' sacred fire seven times while repeating vows seven times, also qualify as vows spoken before a"witness.
Jyotisha doesn't care about government legal status; it cares about the 3-way spiritual anchoring of the vow between two partners and the Divine (where the witness/official/homa/priest are representatives of the Divine Law).
Ironically for us in the West, what doesn't qualify as marriage is long-term live-in partnerships in which vows have never been spoken including"common law' marriages without children.
However, should such a partnership produce a child, the child becomes a witness to the commitment (in a big way!) and a live-in partnership with children becomes a Jyotisha marriage.
Long answer to your short question! If a vow of marriage is sincerely spoken by both partners before a witness, yes, from a Jyotisha perspective, you're married. (Exceptions = insincere speech = inebriated, insane, or lying, etc. = disqualified as marriage.)
BTW not all cultures require monogamy in marriage.
The vow requires sincere intent to treat the spouse as a living gift of the Divine,
but (in cultures which support and promote multiple partner marriages)
Poly-androus or poly-gynous marriage may require that this intent be fulfilled toward numerous simultaneous spouses of different ranks etc. If each spouse in the culturally supported group is fully honored from the heart, the marriage vow is upheld.
It is the intent of the vow, not the number or gender configuration, which Jyotisha-legitimizes the marriage.
How to Practice = The Way to a Meaningful Life
~~ 14th Dalai Lama 1935- Policy of Kindness Tenzing Gyatso
"In order for the wisdom of special insight to remove impediments to proper understanding, and to remove faulty mental states at their very roots,
we need concentrated meditation , a state of complete single-mindedness in which all internal distractions have been removed.
Single-minded meditation involves removing subtle internal distractions such as the mind's being either too relaxed or too tight.
To do so
Without overcoming these obvious distractions, it is impossible to overcome subtler internal distractions.
Since it is through sustaining mindfulness that you achieve a calm abiding of the mind, the practice of morality must precede the practice of concentrated meditation."
Even though this is first marriage for both of us, my husband enjoyed several marriage-like relationships [which did not lead to ceremonial marriage] prior to our wedding.
Do his previous amorous relationships make me his third/fourth spouse ?
A. No. But good question!
Marriage-like relationships (live-in, sweet, romantic, sexually pleasuring relationships) don't generally qualify as marriages unless
(1) private vows have been spoken between the partners and a third witness, such as a priest, govt official, or in the presence of a sacred fire homa
(2) a child was conceived into the union (even if that pregnancy did not result in the birth of a live child).
If the previous relationships were vow-free and conception-free, they don't involve any vow, and they don't count toward the marriage enumeration.
(These lovely sweetheart romances, even when long-lasting, indeed belong to bhava-5, the house of amusements, poetry, fame and romantic love.)
According to your reckoning, so long as you can be assured that no conceptions occurred in either party's previous romances, You are your husband's first wife.
Q = Respected Madam, Namaskar.
I was viewing Shri Swami Yogananda 's chart. His 4th house has Venus in Scorpionis aspected by Jupiter, which is the fact of Occult knowledge.
But 4th house is [public] reputation of Spouse. Swami Yogananda was never married. He had 7th house like everyone.
Do Saints never need a partner to complete them? How do they find that other half?
~~ Jai Ganesha
Good question! As you mention, every Jyotisha nativity contains a 7th house, and 7th-from-Chandra. Therefore, everyone has some type of a life partner.
The"other half for authentically celibate saints is their Ishta-Devata - the god of one's heart.
A marriage relationship with one's ishta-devata is passionate, intense, and - according to the Lives of the Saints - much more morally demanding than a human marriage.
Due to the constant and inescapable mirror-imaging of one's own thoughts and behavior which is provided by the partner, marriage is the most difficult and demanding of all spiritual practices.
One who is lucky enough to realize one's mirror-image in a divine form may experience extraordinary happiness and satisfaction. However, because the spiritual ishtadevata is not perceivable through the default five senses data-streams, it is said to require much more psychic effort to maintain communication with the deity-spouse. Also it is said that if one loses contact with the ishta-devata, the pain of personal invalidation = terribly acute - similar to a divorce but much worse.
The benefits of choosing to marry the ishtadevata by taking a vow of human celibacy may be spectacularly good. But the risk of devastating psycho-emotional loss of self-definition (insanity), when loss of contact occurs through negligence or misguidance, is also high. That is why religious vows of monkhood are typically limited to those who live in community with others who have taken similar vows. In communal practice, fellow practitioners can support each other's commitments, under steady and capable supervision.
Unfortunately, many who claim to have taken a vow of celibacy do not have the moral character to maintain the vow, and they live in a state of hypocrisy. All major religions which support a community of celibate religious (Taoist, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, some esoteric sects of Islam) face this danger in the maintenance of their mystical lineages.
Q. Hi Barbara, Firstly I would like to thank you for putting up such an informative website. I am learning jyotish and had a question regarding Ketu mahadasha. I am looking at a chart of a female with Dhanu Lagna and Ketu in the house 12. The Ketu mahadasha is starting from Aug 01, 2011. The confusion I had was with the placements of the planets in her radix and navamsha chart and Ketu being karaka for separation can she get married in Ketu mahadasha. Can marriage be at all possible in Ketu mahadasha when Ketu is in house 12 without any benefic or malefic aspect? I would appreciate if you could provide me your valuable guidance and feedback in studying this horoscope so that I can apply that valuable knowledge gained in my journey to learn this wonderful"science".
Firstly I would like to thank you for putting up such an informative website.
I am learning jyotish and had a question regarding Ketu mahadasha. I am looking at a chart of a female with Dhanu Lagna and Ketu in the house 12. The Ketu mahadasha is starting from Aug 01, 2011. The confusion I had was with the placements of the planets in her radix and navamsha chart and Ketu being karaka for separation can she get married in Ketu mahadasha.
Can marriage be at all possible in Ketu mahadasha when Ketu is in house 12 without any benefic or malefic aspect?
I would appreciate if you could provide me your valuable guidance and feedback in studying this horoscope so that I can apply that valuable knowledge gained in my journey to learn this wonderful"science".
It might be reasonable to avoid the sub-periods of Rahu and Ketu, particularly to avoid Ketu's swabhutki (Ketu-Ketu) for timing of the marriage ceremony. Other bhukti of the Ketu Mahadasha can be OK.
Judgments should be made from a combination of factors - never from one single factor. Other considerations for suitable timing of marriage include the dignity of Ketu's lord, transits of Rahu-Ketu at marriage time, and other gochara graha related to the bhukti-pati or traveling through kalatra bhava at the time of marriage proceedings.
Wishing you best success in Jyotisha studies,
Sincerely, Barbara Pijan Lama, Jyotisha
~~ First Epistle to the Corinthians 13: 4-8
"Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous;
love is never boastful or conceited;
it is never rude or selfish;
it does not take offense, and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth;
it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.
Love does not come to an end."
The Final Verdict
This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,
yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears,"You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...
You know what?"
"What, dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
Precedents in Myth
"Establishing the myth:
Devdutt Pattanaik, writer-mythologist, says : Though Indian mythology is replete with instances of bigamy and polygamy in the divine pantheon, instances of this practice are more symbolic than prescriptive.
Vishnu has a bhoga-patni for sensory pleasure (Lakshmi) and a moksha-patni for intellectual pleasure (Saraswati).
Shiva has Ganga (the restless one) and Gauri (the mature one).
Murugan has Valli (tribal) and Sena (celestial).
There were no instances of overlap since each spouse was expected to have a carefully defined space, and had to respect the boundaries and needs of the other.
Most mythological stories refer to the conflict between fidelity and desire, and it's usually the faithful wife who is considered to be the epitome of virtue.
Polygamy as a practice scored over polyandry once property rights became synonymous with paternity rights. This meant women had to stick to one man while men could have several wives."
| Long romance such as your relationship with a friend from 1994 to 2000 are generally seen as expressions of the romantic 5th bhava (poetic love) but not seen as a marriage contract = 7th bhava (legal trust). Even if romantic and sexually engaged friends have lived together for years, and deeply appreciate each other, circumstantial harmony is not the same as a marriage vow. |
A marriage contract or a business contract has specific terms of agreement; it is a promise of trust (troth, truth), and that promise is in some way publically acknowledged - either via a ceremony, a license, or the birth of a child, or even a common-law acclaim. Common-law in western cultures is public acknowledgement of an unavowed union that is considered effective after seven or ten years of partnership with mutual children.
However even with no vow and no children, It is tricky to determine sometimes what is a marriage according to the seventh bhava because there are some friends-with-benefits arrangements these days which have some sort of business contract associated with the sexual-romantic behaviors for example the couple might own a house together or a shop.
In that case they have a joint property estate and the contractual yoke is legal whether a marriage vow was spoken or not. They are not just adoring each other (5) but However the simplest answer is that bhava-5 expresses romance and adoring love (such as with children and lovers) while bhava-7 expresses peer-to-peer contracts. If a child is born into a romance, the two parents are instantly bound into a contract to support the child whether a vow was spoken or not. The child is the vow. Not to say that everyone upholds their responsibilities toward a child especially one conceived outside of marriage - of course they often don't and we see that in Jyotisha via ailments of the seventh house and its lord.
One good test of whether it was a marriage contract or not = did the marriage need to be dissolved by some specific action, such as writ of divorce or a public announcement?
For example it is common in traditional areas to have a pre-marital engagement ceremony potentially attended by hundreds of guests (everyone in the village, or everyone in the business network).
Yet, if the couple"breaks up"as an expression of interpersonal disagreement before the actual marriage ceremony, no further public action is required. The engagement ceremony is a public event, but it's not a marriage and an engagement while 'broken' need not be formally dissolved.
~~ Rita Rudner
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
~~ Dan Savage
"While honesty and openness get all of the good press -- too much good press, in my opinion --
the crucial role that deceit plays in the health and survival of long-term relationships is all too often overlooked.
Fact is, without gentle spinning, the omission of damning details, and the occasional bald-faced lie,
no relationship would last more than a week."
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? -- Grade Schoolers respond =
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
file update = 16-Feb-2017
Barbara Pijan Lama Jyotisha Vedic Astrology Surya Sun Chandra Moon Mangala Mars Budha Mercury Guru Jupiter Shukra Venus Shani Saturn Rahu Ketu Graha Planets Dasha Timeline Nakshatra Navamsha Marriage Children Wealth Career Spiritual Wisdom Cycles of Death and Rebirth
"And now my friends,
all that is true,
all that is noble,
all that is just and pure,
all that is loveable and gracious,
whatever is excellent and admirable -
fill all your thoughts with these things."
~~ Philippians 4 = 8