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Marriage


Who Will I Marry?

Zukra = Alliance, Sense Pleasures, Wealth

Surya = Theatre, Poetic Ideals, Romance

"Falling in Love"

Adoration of Surya

Brilliant Sparkling Glorious Love

A splendid experience which confirms the presence of the Divine in all humans, the psychology of"falling in love" is nothing short of miraculous. During this remarkable event, the perception is altered so that one is able to see directly into the Divine Heart of the beloved without any awareness of the flawed human personality which structures and surrounds that beautiful Heart.

For the duration of a day, a month, a year, or possibly a lifetime, the eyes are unable to see the beloved as a mix of temporal human frailties with eternal Divine truth. Instead of a person, one sees a god.

The beloved appears to be perfect, without error and without stain. It is a state of blissful delirium. The conviction is unshakable and the mandate clear: this is the One. Such a perfect companion presents a perfect mirror, in which one may see the Divine Beauty of one's own inner splendor. Two humans who have fallen in love, together, bless each other with a mutual mirroring view of their Inner Divine Heart stripped of all darkness and debris. It is a transformative and definitive emotional experience to know with certainty that this Beauty resides in the center of human life..

The love between Mother and Child is exactly the same. Mother sees only the Divine in the exquisite laughter and sparkling eyes of her adoring Child, the center of her universe and the reason for her Being. The Child, basking in the glory of Mother's worshipful adoration, mirrors back a brilliant image of the Divine Mother, source of all life, womb of all Spirit. They are meant to be together not only for a lifetime, but for all eternity. How they love each other!

For the Mother and Child,"falling in love" happens at the moment of conception, and again at the moment of birth, and again at the moment of first holding the child in one's arms, and again at every hour of each passing day. Mother-Child love never ceases. An adopted child loves two mothers: one who carried the infant pre-birth, and one who cradles and nourishes the living being. Most mothers are permanently In Love with their children; it is unimaginable to mother that this Divine child could think or act in an ungodlike way, because mothers really do not detect the human elements in their precious children - even when their children grow into adults! Her child remains forever the heart-center of her life.

For two human lovers, the situation is different."Falling in love"although an exquisite experience is also a bit of a delusion. It may be life's greatest blessing to be able to perceive, unobstructed, the brilliant Divine Center Light of another human being. It may be the greatest pleasure and spiritual privilege to bask in that Light. However, temporary blindness caused by the sheer intensity of the radiant light of the heart-center will eventually fade and the humans flaws of materialism, greed, and emotional neediness will begin to re-appear.

At the time when human lovers begin to recover their sense of normalcy and to recognize that the One is also able to mirror-back a set of all too human behaviors, the structure of the lover's personality and culturally imposed roles and expectations begins to re-emerge into the field of perception. As the hallucination recedes, the adult partners realize that the Other is not in fact a deity but rather a human.

Unlike the Moon-to-Sun relationship of Mother to Child, Zukra's peer-to-peer relationships do not have one radiant center (child) and one reflective admirer (mother). In Zukra-governed relationships, both parties have an equal amount of mutual interest in the terms of the contract. In marriage, the division of labor means that both partners are parents; both have work duties and ritual responsibilities; both have needs; both are required to attend to the needs of the other.

If either partner in a Zukra peer union insists on maintaining the center-stage romantic charismatic glamour of the Surya-child, the other partner may feel very frustrated with the lack of harmony and balanced maturity in the alliance. Zukra parity, Zukra equity, Zukra polarity must be fair and justly distributed between the partners in a peer union. Romance and adoration of an attention-demanding Central Sun figure"diva" within a marriage can spell the end of the union because it imposes an unsustainable imbalance-seeking-a-remedy in the social-material workload. Glittering divine-heart Central-Sun Romance is only"sustainable" when one party is in the audience (mom) while the other party generates the genius of celebrity, entertainments, amusements, politics, poetry, kings and queens, fashion, speculation, games and gambling - and of course, children.

Surya-romance is delightful but not to be confused with Zukra's peer-alliance and marriage!

Love:
  • "Compassion means wanting another to be free of suffering. Love means sincerely wanting another to be happy." ~~ HHDL

The feeling of"love" toward one's child, sibling, spouse, or parent = a limitless desire for their happiness.

Zukra-love

Long-term relationship love = Zukra. Trust between two human beings, each of whom wish to remain in a balanced exchange relationship, involves a deep appreciation for the art and architecture of relationship. Zukra-based love is founded on the appreciation of balance, and of understanding that the pleasure of the partner is the true source of pleasure for oneself.

  • For example if one's relationship is professional, what is the source of pleasure for the partner? It will be one's balanced and fair performance of contractual duties within the business partnership. This is love. It has no sexual component, but it is love. At it's core, partner- love is a perfectly balanced agreement.

If one's relationship is sexual, then the sexual pleasure of the partner becomes a paramount goal in the long-term happiness of the relationship. One understands that the physical pleasuring of the partner is key to one's own happiness. One sincerely wishes the partner to be happy, and one invests in that happiness by working to achieve the pleasure of the partner.

  • In a balanced and authentic love relationship, each partner Absolutely wants the best for the other partner, without conditions or consideration of whether their happiness affects one's own immediate material fortunes.
Surya-love

Surya - unfortunately - can create a short-term"infatuation" (lit., full of folly) that mimics true love between humans but which is not a partnered balance but rather a self-focused idealistic projection.

  • Surya's "falling in love" projections are highly suitable to one's relationship with the Divine, but they are not intended to replace Zukra's long-term balanced partnerships.
  • Surya-driven"love" is an"idealization" or psychological projection of Divinely perfect (Surya) qualities upon an object.

Surya represents the part of the human entity that can channel Divine Intelligence, i.e. Genius.

If the object of idealization = a deity, or a child, or a romantic lover, or a piece of poetry, there is no problem. None of these objects are intended to become one's equal partner. It is quite fine and"lovely" to project one's "inner personal best" perfection upon one's children, since it is at least part of their purpose on Earth to carry forward the lineage of their parents' intelligence!

  • However to project ideal qualities upon the spouse or business partner is a foolhardy error of wide impact in human relationships. Unfortunately in the advertising imagery of self-worship, which is fueled by political individualism and modern celebrity culture, it is quite easy to confuse the adolescent"falling in love" projection with the adult"marriage"agreement.
A Flawless Human Love?

Naturally, if one insists that one's husband, wife, or partner manifest a divinely ideal appearance, or that this person must continuously express flawlessqualities of physical, emotional, ethical, aesthetic, social, or moral perfection, one will be quickly dissatisfied with this human partner. One may become a victim of"falling in love syndrome", moving from relationship to relationship, looking for the"ideal" partner.

  • Many marriage troubles these days seem to be stemming from a gross misunderstanding of the difference between Surya's portfolio (development of individual genius, esp. via children) vs. Zukra's portfolio (development of balanced agreements, long-term sensual pleasuring, and wealth).
  • Increasingly in global society, this rapid-fire idealization-devaluation of the partner , associated with narcissistic personality disorder, is ruining the long-term happiness of marriage partnerships.

It is possible that the wildfire spread of global self-enhancement"consumerism" will completely destroy the culture of long-term partnership. Modern buy-now image-illusions seduce the buyer into believing that"if you buy this item, you will have immediate Divine Powers of magnetic attractiveness ". And perhaps, the sculpted body gained through the (buy it now) gym membership or the gorgeous clothes gained through the (buy it now) credit card (magic!) will increase the individual empowerment for some months.

However, the immediate excitement of self-flattery and getting public attention (5) wears off very quickly. An adult human is part common animal and part divine brilliance.

Humans struggle infinitely to realize Surya's divine ideal.

Zukra is the karaka for relaxation of the struggle .

  • (Naturally, Zukra and Surya, who work at cross-purposes for eternity, are enemies !)
  • Zukra gives sensual pleasure, indulgence in wealth, and social ease afforded by committed partnership.

In human equal relationships, idealization is a trap.

Human relationships are built on material pleasures: sexual delights, wealth acquisition, balanced conversations, and a host of agreeable relationships not only between the partners but involving many participants within their social community (parents, neighbors, commercial and religious associates, etc.)

  • these days, given Shani-Surya enforced survival-creativity tremendous time-pressure upon individuals to work more and more - in order to buy more and more - it seems like there is no time to develop the large and small Venusian agreements upon which a successful marriage is historically grounded.
  • It is good that humans strive to increase their divine capacity.

But it is a mistake to confuse the architecturally balanced, long-term pleasuring agreements of Zukra with the Solar instinct to develop divine genius in a child, or a work of creative literature, a theatrical performance, or political oratory.

Or a lover!

  • Surya is the positive karaka of the idealized Romantic Lover!
  • But Zukra is the karaka of the Spouse! Attend to the difference!
Real Human Partnerships, Real Human Love
  • Human partnerships prosper when Zukra's two portfolios, mutually beneficial agreements (7) and sensual pleasure (2), are attentatively developed.
  • If Zukra's law is followed, marriage becomes the foundation for wealth (2) and social harmony (7).

Surya = the positive karaka of Divine Genius and Idealized Romantic Love!

But Zukra = the karaka of financial wealth , Pleasure, and Marriage!

Attend to the difference!

May all beings venerate life as a state of deep spiritual intimacy.

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file update: 18-Mar-2017

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