tadyatha om gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Some Psychic Suggestions:
Handling Animosity, Jealousy, Exploitation, Blaming, and Greed
enemy * un-ami
Story of two war enemies almost killed - then friendship and brotherhood
Maqâmât (assemblies) of the al-Hariri,
Scene: Pilgrim Caravan (31 Maqâmât) c. 1237, by Yahyâ ibn Mahmûd al-Wâsitî
| TROUBLEMAKERS SHOW US WHERE WE'RE STUCK |
No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva
by Pema Chödrön,
| "Those who give us a hard time, who are difficult to be around or who constantly blow our cover, are the very ones who show us where we we're stuck. |
The great meditation master Atisha always traveled with his belligerent Bengali tea-boy because it kept him honest.
Without his ill-tempered servant to test him, he might have been able to deceive himself about his degree of equanimity.
Troublemakers up the ante: if we can practice patience with them, we can practice it with anyone."
| ANY ENCOUNTER OFFERS US A CHOICE |
No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva
by Pema Chödrön, p 185
| "This is an idea that seems difficult for Westerners to accept: when someone harms us, they create the cause of their own suffering. They do this by strengthening habits that imprison them in a cycle of pain and confusion. |
It's not that we are responsible for what someone else does, and certainly not that we should feel guilty.
But when they harm us, we unintentionally become the means of their undoing.
Had they looked on us with loving-kindness, however, we'd be the cause of their gathering virtue.
What I find helpful in this teaching is that what's true for them is also true for me. The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I experience the world in the future.
In any encounter, we have a choice: we can strengthen our resentment or our understanding and empathy. We can widen the gap between ourselves and others or lessen it."
Healing Emotions: Conversations with the Dalai Lama on Mindfulness, Emotions, and Health
"Anger, from an evolutionary point of view, serves a purpose.
It's helped us to survive. Anger is quite appropriate in response to an injustice or a wrong that needs to be righted.
But, as the Dalai Lama pointed out,
but drop the anger itself in order to act more skillfully."
Ravana seizes the chariot Pushpaka from Kuvera Qasim, Mughal Period, c. 1597-1605 * Smithsonian Institution
What to do about some one or some organization that one *really hate?* Somebody who *really deserves* to be hated? Thieves, creeps, exploiters. Rapists, swindlers, torturers. Polluters. Liars. Evil co-workers. Abusive bosses. Vicious neighbors Cruel judges. Bullies.
Try this guilt-free, grief-free, forgiveness technique for releasing one's enemies in this life:
"When an individual is firmly established in non-violence (ahimsa),
all beings who come near him also cease to be hostile."
Yoga Sutras of Patanjali 2.35
| Three steps toward eliminating toxic criticism and
your deep insight into wisdom , can you please guide
me what is the best way to manage criticism . The
criticism that has orginated from inferiority
complex and jealously , criticism that originates
because of enemity, criticism that originates from
resentment and hatred . Is not criticism supposed to
be wrong ? Please advice me
With your deep insight into wisdom , can you please guide me what is the best way to manage criticism .
The criticism that has orginated from inferiority complex and jealously , criticism that originates because of enemity, criticism that originates from resentment and hatred . Is not criticism supposed to be wrong ?
Please advice me
| Namaste, |
The technique is simple and effective, but extremely difficult to apply. (Step-1 is most difficult. Step-2 and Step-3 might be easier.) I will mention it in case you have the courage to try it.
Toxic blaming, painful criticism, false accusations, and damaging gossip can be completely obliterated, even when one has a lifelong history of suffering humiliation and torture from others.
Here is the method.
When the habitual self-defensive voice arises which begins to judge the performance of another, convert that voice to compassion. This conversion takes the habitual criticism and transforms it into an appreciation of that person's beliefs which have led that person to mistreat one.
There are two varieties of criticism: emotional (which is painful and unhealthy) and intellectual (which is clarifying and logical). Transform the first into the second.
On the principle that "everyone is doing the best they can with the information that they have" use the critical intelligence to compassionately look into their beliefs about the world. What belief would cause that person to accuse, judge, hurt, mistreat, or enslave one?
Presume that they are doing their best at all times. (They are.) Then look at their information. They are probably suffering from anxiety and fear based in crippling ignorance which maintains a belief that they must hurt others to survive.
So first, stop the icky criticism. Stop one's own internal emotional criticizing of others. That means eliminating any sort of complaining narrative, habitual blaming, narratives of jealousy or greed (one covets what they have).
They are holding a particular belief about the world, about reality, and you are just an instance of that belief. This is a compassionate view of their bondage to their own beliefs.
Step-1-2-3 is a process that takes work, and doing it does not change your reality overnight. However it does succeed when diligently pursued. It takes time for external reality to change, because it takes time for the echo of old internal behaviors to fade away.
In the short term, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to change habitual, fear-driven toxic behaviors of others. It is best to go "no contact" with truly toxic people.
However in the longer term, if the internal hygiene is practiced and one no longer indulges in complaining and criticizing, the echo will fade away and you will start wondering where did all those nasty blaming exploitive criticizers go?
|How to Get Rid of An Enemy with Neutral Compassion|| |
Be willing to release the matching fear energy in one's own space which is what allows the enemy to plug in to one's aura. They can't plug in if there is no match.
If there is conflict energy in one's space, scarcity thinking, fear - release it. It's a simple as making the mental intention, and giving one's body permission to release. KISS - Keep It Sweet and Simple.
(Note this is exactly like selling one's car. On the day one sell one's car,"my car" which had been a precious, important extension of one's very body, suddenly becomes "the car"about which one care nothing.
The miraculous change from Very Involved/Obsessed to Total Apathy that occurs when one Release one's Interest in the Vehicle, can also occur when one Release one's Interest in an Unwanted Relationship.)
Put out a request to the higher powers that this nasty person be helped to TAKE THEIR NEXT STEP. This is a nice, positive, but firm way of psychically saying, and"Git along now. I mean Git!"Remember you're not specifying what should happen to them. You're not asking for them to be hurt or punished. You're asking for them to be helped to *move along.*
It is not required to manage their consequences for them. It's not one's job to micromanage other people's karma. People earn the results of their own actions.
It *is* the Supreme Being's job, so just delegate up... return the matter to central control. She'll take care of it.
It might be necessary to practice the enemy-in-golden-bubble-returned-to-Supreme-Being several times.
After each send-off, be sure to fill up one's own entire body, especially first chakra region, with bright golden light.
| Dealing with Shani-Scarcity = Jealousy |
Seva is the Solution!
Q: I love your website and I love all the quotes and excerpts you have shared there. So much knowledge and wisdom and inspiration. Whenever I'm having a lousy day, I open one of your webpages and feel better instantly :) Could you please tell me some way to deal with envy and jealousy? My reptile brain is causing me to be envious of a lot of people lately - I TRY my best not to but I just end up comparing myself to certain people I know and it makes me feel not only sad but also envious. I tell myself that the journey of my soul is different from theirs and that I shouldn't be doubting Universe's plan for me. I'd be grateful if you could share some of your thoughts and wisdom on how to deal with such negative emotions.
Could you please tell me some way to deal with envy and jealousy? My reptile brain is causing me to be envious of a lot of people lately - I TRY my best not to but I just end up comparing myself to certain people I know and it makes me feel not only sad but also envious. I tell myself that the journey of my soul is different from theirs and that I shouldn't be doubting Universe's plan for me. I'd be grateful if you could share some of your thoughts and wisdom on how to deal with such negative emotions.
| One remedy which has no cost, works in all difficult situations, and may be worth your consideration = "seva ". Remedial seva offers a free, straightforward path toward cessation of karmic struggle. |
Seva helps to transform ignorance into wisdom. In the moment that the ignorance is converted into wisdom, the karma is finished.
To plan your Seva, identify those persons who are suffering from your same sorrow or dilemma, but in a slightly worse degree, and go to serve them. For example :
* if one has job skills but is blocked in finding a job, offer seva to those who need tutoring to build their job skills.
* If one fears financial collapse, unable to pay bills or support the family, offer seva to those who live in squalor.
* If one is struggling to conceive child, offer seva to mothers overwhelmed in caring for their children, or to children who are ill or neglected.
* If one is suffering marital rejection, bitterness or divorce, consider offering service to widows or to those who are rejected by society.
Seva Specifically for Jealousy:
... if one is suffering from repeating short-loop narratives of envious thoughts, it can be enlightening to offer service to those with more severe jealousy issues.
Seva is always the fastest route to self-understanding , especially if one can whilst serving hear the narratives of those whose lives have been harmed - even ruined - by their own negative beliefs. Watch how fervently they cling to the beliefs which are so dysfunctional and damaging their life measurably, in real time. People get very attached to negative beliefs!
Beliefs produce"obligatory actions " (karma) Unfortuately, negative beliefs have the same power to produce action as positive beliefs. The English word"envy" derives from Latin"invidia" meaning"look within" (same root as Sanskrit 'vidya' knowledge)
Low self-confidence = Shani
creative intelligence = Surya
who will win?
Often the root of jealousy is low self-confidence (Shani = anti-Surya) compounded by a parochial belief in scarcity (Shani). The solution is to release the narrative of 'scarcity' which is an inner chant that says "there isn't enough! I don't have the power to create!".
That insufficiency narrative must be replaced with a belief that one does, indeed have the power to create (Surya). However their can be much resistance to the Light coming from family"culture of denial", especially from the males trying to repress the females, but also if any females have nishturabhashi yoga they become agents of denial themselves.
Due to the pressure of social and family conformity, an otherwise intelligent person might be able to socially understand the problem (Shani's socially reinforced scarcity belief) without being able to impose the individual solution (Surya creative confidence).
Seva can be exceptionally and directly educational providing a vivid demonstration of the negative beliefs of other individuals in lively color . It can be very clearly exhibited how the socialized beliefs in scarcity and fear of individual brilliance have been internalized to the point where a person - male or female - actually believes the superstitution that somehow another human (or anthropomorphized deity) has "taken" one's own inherent spiritual creative power!
Then in the conviction of this false belief, one can suffer agonies of jealousy, believing that what others have created is better than one's own, unobtainable by oneself (except via stealing it) or other nasty consequences of low faith in the divine.
Seva = world's most pragmatic schoolroom
Seva is very educational! Seva with real human beings helps to make abstract ideas like"jealousy" become real. Jealousy is not just a sudden feeling. It is a series of mental steps starting with a belief, percolating through several waves of emotion, and ending with an action.
Seva makes the steps quite tangible. Sad as it is, it can be enormously clarifying for the seva-offering karma-yogi to watch someone else choke on their own self-destructive beliefs -- finding themselves in either mental-prison or physical-prison as a result of jealousy-driven actions.
Yet, the Seva need not be offered in such an extreme environment as a physical prison. Anywhere that people are psycho-emotionally trapped by negative assumptions about their own wealth, beauty, genius, brilliance = a good place to serve.
Aspiring dramatic actresses, singers, or fashion designers, who are trying to be creative but perhaps suffering due to their beliefs about needing a"big break" from outside agents, are also often victims of jealous-mind. Seva such as teaching fashion classes or drama classes for young women, puts the Seva-person in a splendid position to hear the old stories about how someone "took that role that was meant for me" or they "stole my opportunity" etc.
The underlying - perhaps previously quite mysterious - Shani - karmic beliefs in scarcity of financial well-being -beauty and insufficiency of creativity will quickly rise to the surface and become obvious.
Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869 - 1948)
Non-Violence in Peace and War , vol. 2, ch. 248 (1948). www.gandhiserve.org
"It is easy enough to be friendly to one' s friends.
But to befriend the one who regards himself as one's enemy
is the quintessence of true religion.
The other is mere business."
| About Losses from Lawsuits |
Ari Bhava and 6th lord
" Matching energy " ensures that those who fear legal reprisal will attract legal reprisal.
As Trulshig Rinpoche (Nepal) used to say, "That's just how it is!"
Check one's belief system.
Have a competent healer check for anything one might have missed in self-inspection. And remember, it's responsibility *without* guilt :)
-- M. K. Gandhi (1869 - 1948) Non-Violence in Peace and War , vol. 1, ch. 256 (1942) www.gandhiserve.org
"Mental violence has no potency and injures only the person whose thoughts are violent.
It is otherwise with mental non-violence.
It has potency which the world does not yet know."
Personal, National, and Racial Animosity on a Global Scale.
Satyagraha 1869-1948 Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi definitely had some enemies.
He wanted the racist, exploitive British colonial administration of Occupied India to leave his country.
Gandhi developed and applied a concept called"Satya Graha " (= Force of Truth; non-violent force) to all of his enemies, public and private. He followed a system somewhat similar to the steps above.
Every day he purified himself of all anger, and humbly requested the higher powers to help the enemy move along. In this peaceful, neutral frame of mind, Gandhi did much practical action.
He led huge non-violent protests, endured hunger strikes, and completed marathon walks - with no malice in his heart, but relentlessly calling attention to the problem. Millions of non-violent Indians eventually joined him.
And so the higher powers gave Britain her next step. By releasing his interest in the enemy, both India and the Mahatma were freed.
|14th Dalai Lama 1935- Policy of Kindness Tenzing Gyatso . (2004). 365 Dalai Lama: Daily Advice from the Heart , Matthieu Ricard (Ed.)|| |
"Even though there are so many of us on this planet, everyone can only see themselves.
Is this not a patent contradiction?"
| The Compassionate Life|| |
"When Tibet was still free, we cultivated our natural isolation, mistakenly thinking that we could prolong our peace and security that way.
Later, we learned the hard way that in the international arena, as well as at home, freedom is something to be shared and enjoyed in the company of others, not kept to one's self."
~~ Budapest, 1994
|Statement, 10 March 1971|| Any achievement attained through hatred [can only invite] trouble sooner or later." |
"I believe that Tibet will be free only when its people become strong, and hatred is not strength.
The Lord Buddha was not being religious, in the popular sense of the term, when he said that hatred does not cease by hatred.
Rather, he was being practical . Any achievement attained through hatred [can only invite] trouble sooner or later."
|Healing Anger: The Power of Patience from a Buddhist Perspective by the Dalai Lama, translated by Geshe Thupten Jinpa|| |
"Why should one work so hard to please people, doing all sorts of things for others in order to make them feel happy? If one can't bear one's enemy's happiness, then why should one do all sorts of things to make anyone else happy?
Shantideva explains an inconsistency regarding this issue. He notes that when praise is directed toward oneself, when people speak highly of oneself, one not only feels happy but also expects others to be happy when they hear this praise. However, this is totally inconsistent with one's attitude toward others. When people praise others, then not only does one disapprove of others' happiness but one's own peace of mind and happiness are destroyed as well. So there seems to be an inconsistency when it comes to relating to praise directed toward oneself and praise directed toward others.
Then, especially for a Bodhisattva practitioner who has dedicated his or her life to bringing about joy and happiness in others and leading them to the ultimate state of happiness, to be jealous of others' happiness and joy is totally inappropriate. In fact, one should feel that if other sentient beings of their own accord, from their own efforts, gain any little experience of happiness and joy here and there, we should be all the more grateful, because without our helping them, they have been able to achieve these joyful experiences and happiness."
|Tenzin Gyatso, The Compassionate Life|| |
"If we investigate on a deeper level, we will find that when enemies inflict harm on us, we can actually feel gratitude toward them. Such situations provide us with rare opportunities to put to test our own practice of patience. It is a precious occasion to practice not only patience but the other bodhisattva ideals as well.
The poor enemy, on the other hand, because of the negative action of inflicting harm on someone out of anger and hatred, must eventually face the negative consequences of his or her own actions.
Since the merit accumulated from the practice of patience was possible only because of the opportunity provided us by our enemy, strictly speaking, we should dedicate our merit to the benefit of that enemy.
|The Path to Bliss |
by H.H. the Dalai Lama,translated by Geshe Thupten Jinpa,
ed. Christine Cox
| "Although we did not have the fortune to see Buddha Shakyamuni himself in person, we do have the great fortune of having access to his own precious teachings, which is actually superior to seeing him in person. |
The same is the case with masters like Nagarjuna and his immediate disciples. If we make the necessary effort, and undertake the practice and study, we can fully enjoy a benefit equal to that of having met them in person.
... So visualize in space, in front of you, all the exalted masters ,
Around you also are the protectors who have taken the oath in the presence of Buddha Shakyamuni to safeguard and protect the precious doctrine of Buddha.
Having created this mental image, question yourself as to how all these objects of refuge, the buddhas and the masters of the past, achieved such a high state of realization and reached a state where they can provide protection to all living beings.
You will find that it is because of their having made effort in the practice of dharma in general and, in particular, the practice of bodhicitta*.
Think as follows:"I shall, from today, follow in the footsteps of these great masters, and take the initiative of generating bodhicitta."
* The aspiration to achieve enlightenment for the sake of all beings.
file update: 02-Apr-2017
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| "And now my friends, |
all that is true, all that is noble,
all that is just and pure,
all that is loveable and gracious,
whatever is excellent and admirable -
fill all your thoughts with these things."